Park Slope Absolutely Needs Its Own Line of Soups

Did you guys know that Campbell's Soup is coming out with a whole new line of soup for hipsters? (or "restless spirits with adventurous tastes," as Campbell's refers to them.) It's true. The soup company is going to market in hipster hotspots like Portland, Austin and San Francisco, and recipes will include things like coconut curry with chicken and shiitake mushrooms, and creamy red pepper with smoked gouda.

Can you imagine the meeting that sparked this idea? Picture it: those little, fat, rosy-cheeked baby chefs are sitting around applying sunscreen to each other and speaking in high-pitched squeaky voices, when one of them says, (in a widdle baby voice), "Why don't we twy to sewl soop to hipstews?"  Then they both go, "Yaaaaaay!" and wave their arms in the air while soup and sunscreen flies everywhere.

Well, as long as those fat baby people are developing new products to cater to stereotypical lifestyles, we here at FiPS would also like to contribute. Here's our pitch for a line of Park Slope-specific soups:

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The Inevitable Patrick Stewart Park Slope Tumblr Has Arrived

You thought the Ryan Gosling Food Coop Tumblr was awesome?  Well, this might be even better.  

With the news that Jean Luc Picard, er, uh, Patrick Stewart is buying into our neighborhood, it was just a matter of time before this happened.  Park Slope Patrick Stewart is the name of the Tumblr, and I actually LOL'ed at a couple of these.  And they're certainly exploiting all the best neighborhood fodder.  Co-op?  Check! Bike lane?  Check!  Strollers in bars?  Check!

Patrick Stewart photo plus Park Slope stereotype equals awesome hilarity.  The end.

A FiPS Guide to Having a Successful Open House

Photo by Park Slope Lens

If you're selling real estate in Park Slope and want to get into a contract by the end of the year, now's the time to really step up your game and make it happen. Take advantage of the last few weeks of summer by holding weekly open houses until you get an offer.  With any luck, you can close on the sale by Thanksgiving. Since I've bought and sold real estate in Brooklyn (a couple of times, actually), I've put together some handy hints for making certain that your open house is a spectacular success.

1. LEAVE 

Do not hang around your own open house.  Let your real estate agent do what you're paying them to do, because if people know you live there, they're going to be uncomfortable.  When my spouse and I purchased our place, the seller's entire family was there at each and every open house and showing.  And every time we went there, they were feeding their baby in the dining room.  And the baby was always wearing mittens, even though it was August.  It was distracting, to say the least.  Why was their baby wearing mittens in August?  Why was it always eating?  We couldn't appreciate the fact that there was a fireplace, or the gorgeous hardwood floors, because we kept speculating about what the deal was with their ravenous lobster baby.  Had they just cleared out of the place, we might have made our decision to buy the place much more quickly.

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Macy's Might Move its July 4th Fireworks Back to East River Because of all our bitching (YAY!)

Photo by Ed Betz/Associated Press

Oh, goody.  

Macy's (the department store that owns Santa Claus, Thanksgiving, and all related copyrights and trademarks) has agreed to meet and discuss the possibility -- but they're not making any promises, mind you, and this is all just tentative, so don't get your hopes up because this could go in a couple of different directions and they're not saying they will or they won't but they'll just entertain the idea -- of bringing the 4th of July fireworks back to the East River so that people in Brooklyn and Queens can actually see them.

As long as Macy's doesn't kowtow to the pleas of New Jersey to keep the fireworks on the Hudson, this will be great news for Slopers -- especially the ones who don't have their roof-top views of Manhattan blocked by the giant red "STAND-UP MRI" sign on 5th Avenue.  

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My Three Favorite Park Slope(-ish) Breakfast Sandwiches

Turkey & provolone at Costco

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Ergo, this will be the most important thing you read on the internet today.  Let's just dive right on into my three favorite morning-time sandwiches, shall we?

1. My go-to breakfast sandwich is a standard, no-frills sausage, egg and cheese on a roll.  Not on a bagel -- they're too chewy.  Just a roll. For this, I have a particular fondness for 5th Ave. Bageltique.  I've lived in Brooklyn for about 12 years, and I don't think I've ever ordered a bagel there.  I don't think I've ever ordered anything else there, actually.  Why do I like their sausage, egg and cheese on a roll?  I don't know.  What is it about that sandwich that is so special?  Nothing.  But they make it well, it's (in my mind) a classic New York breakfast order, and that's where I go for that sandwich.  Or, maybe it's just that I'm too lazy to walk any farther than that.  Argue with me in the comments, if you must.

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