Park Slope Eats After Dark

Image via Park Slope Lens

Do you often miss a good dinner because some douchebag job keeps you busy until well after the sun goes down? Are you stumbling out of the bars late at night after a bucket's worth of cocktails, looking to eat everything that’s not nailed down? If you live in Park Slope, you’re in luck, sucka.

There are hundreds of restaurants and bars in the hood that serve food until 11pm, midnight and in some cases, beyond. We're not just talking Chinese food, diners and pizza places, either. You want a fat steak? Maybe some escargot? Park Slope has your back, yo.

Here are a few of my personal selects for great late night joints in the Slope:

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Smorgasburg: Mr. FIPS goes to Williamsburg

Phew! Thank god that Rapture thing didn't happen on Saturday, huh? Giant earthquakes & hellfire & shit? Not getting to see the how the first season of The Killing turns out? No thanks, Jebus.

On the upside, once word got out that God was going to pluck up all the good Christians & unleash pain on the rest of us, from that point on everything in my world took on a mocking, "this may be the last time" tone. For those like me who tend to look at everything through atheist-framed, cynic-colored glasses, the Rapture was pure comedy gold. After all, it's fun to play pretend.

Case in point: last week I told Erica that my Park Slope End of Days meal would be "as many jerk BBQ chicken littles from Atomic Wings as possible & 7-8 growlers of beer from Bierkraft." I wasn't lying when I said that. If the Rapture was actually going down, that’s what I'd go for in Park Slope.

Since I was fairly certain that it was going to be a Rapture-free Saturday, I instead met up with a friend in Williamsburg for the opening of the Brooklyn Flea's questionably-named Smorgasburg food market. Here, I'd assemble my cynical, mocktastic End of Days meal. Also, I figured that on the off chance that the Rapture actually did happen, going to Williamsburg first would help ease me into it.

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Drunken Nets Fans Are Totally Gonna Pee All Over Your Stoop

If you're like me, you're SUPER PSYCHED about the impending opening of the Barclays Center. It's going to be awesomesauce, right?!!!

Just think of all the countless jobs it's going to pump into the Brooklyn economy. You'll be able to get a sweet job serving beers & pretzels & whatever other hip modern cuisine they add to the menu to all the Barclays Center patrons! OR you can have a bright future in the exciting field of event security! I'm pretty sure you don't even have to waste precious hundreds of thousands of dollars on college degrees to get either of those jobs. WIN WIN for you, Jones!

Will the arena bring crime & traffic & hooliganism & whatnot to the area? Fuck yeah it will. Enraged Park Slope Resident Joe Imadehimup was quoted as saying, "Blah blah blah. Ruining the neighborhood. Robert Moses redux blah."

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REVIEW'D: Der Kommissar

Pretty much all the time, I've got one stupid ass song or another stuck in my head. For the past week I've been rocking After The Fire's "Der Kommissar." At least a half-dozen times every day, my brain cues up the 80's keyboard and breaks into:

Don't turn around. Uh oh.

It all started last Tuesday, when I got word that a brand new Austrian-style joint serving sausages & beer & the like was opening up that evening on 5th Ave between 15th and 16th. The name—Der Kommissar.

Der kommissar's in town. Uh oh.

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REVIEW'D: South Brooklyn Pizza

This past Tuesday, Park Slope got its seventh-zillionth pizza joint, when the fourth outpost of South Brooklyn Pizza opened up just off of 7th Ave on 1st St. It'd been a while since I'd had pizza, so on Wednesday I decided to swing by and check it out.

If you aren't looking for the place, there's a good chance you'll walk right by, as it's off the main avenue and has an exterior that, other than an A-frame outside the front door that reads "Yep, this is the Place," has zero signage. In my case, since the storefront used to be home to "Comfy Body & Foot Rub," I was used to ignoring the locale all together.

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