Drunken Nets Fans Are Totally Gonna Pee All Over Your Stoop

If you're like me, you're SUPER PSYCHED about the impending opening of the Barclays Center. It's going to be awesomesauce, right?!!!

Just think of all the countless jobs it's going to pump into the Brooklyn economy. You'll be able to get a sweet job serving beers & pretzels & whatever other hip modern cuisine they add to the menu to all the Barclays Center patrons! OR you can have a bright future in the exciting field of event security! I'm pretty sure you don't even have to waste precious hundreds of thousands of dollars on college degrees to get either of those jobs. WIN WIN for you, Jones!

Will the arena bring crime & traffic & hooliganism & whatnot to the area? Fuck yeah it will. Enraged Park Slope Resident Joe Imadehimup was quoted as saying, "Blah blah blah. Ruining the neighborhood. Robert Moses redux blah."

BUT!

Brooklyn will have a sports team for the first time since 1957--specifically an NBA franchise that's sucked for years and will still suck when the arena officially opens in September of 2012. We'll have a shitty basketball team! Take that, arena crime!

On Tuesday, word trickled out that a group of entrepreneurs had the BRASS BALLS to consider turning a space on Pacific & Flatbush right next to the arena into a 3,500 square foot sports bar that seats 150 people and has multiple bars. HUGELIKE.

Get this though…the proposed name for the place? "Players Gastro Pub & Sportsbar." BHAH! Are you fucking kidding me? That is the shittiest name EVER. Seriously entrepreneurs, get a better name for your proposed sports bar. I'm sure our readers could give you some brilliant suggestions.

Obviously, people are up in arms about the proposed joint, especially after the recent Prime 6 fiasco. Entitled Park Slope Mom Jane Imadeherup was quoted as saying, "Grumble grumble sportbar. Grumble grumble…drunken people urinating on our quiet, pristine Flatbush Ave & Pacific St block. Think of the children. Grumble."

Here’s what I figure…this place seats 150 people. Great! That's at least 150 meatheads who are not pre- and post-gaming in your favorite Park Slope bar. Isn’t that doing the community a huge fucking favor? Freddy's had to move? Great! That means that when you go there, it won't be filled with Nets fans or concertgoers who are actually excited that Green Day put out another fucking album.

I propose that we get Ratner or Marty or Jay-Z or that Russian dude or whomever the fuck is pulling the strings with the arena to use eminent domain to snatch up the rest of the useless businesses on that block and turn those fuckers into sports bars so we can pile all the rest of the arena crowd into them.

Have you seen how fast the frame of the arena went up? At the rate they’re going, they could demolish the whole fucking block & have it transformed into one ginormous, shittily-named, Bud Light-shilling sports bar in a month, maybe two tops.

I don't know about you, but when I’m in Manhattan, I avoid MSG like the fucking plague anyhow. The same's probably going to hold true for the area around the Barclays Center. Unless you're heading to the train or the arena, you should probably do the same. Just give up on that area. It's DEAD to you.

If they put in a sports bar or seven, so what? That area's fucked either way.

Read way more from Shawn at eatdrinksnack.com.