Whassup: Fools No More Edition

fools (via cvrp2012.com)

I suppose some people must enjoy April Fool's Day, just as I am assured that there are sociopaths among us, though I don't identify with either group. Maybe this is just the bitter grapes of a gullible person, but that "holiday" can suck one. Now that it's over, we are all free to continue MOSTLY distrusting friends and strangers, rather than ENTIRELY distrusting them. Come partake of the fun that comes from not squinting warily at everyone you know. Welcome to Whassup: Fools No More Edition:

* Friday, April 5: Booze and Threads, Odd Twin: The purveyors of things vintage at Odd Twin know the best way to throw an anniversary party, or any party for that matter, is to bribe people to come with free alcohol. Hence, for their 4-year anniversary, the clothiers offer FREE beer and wine to go along with the sales. Come get drunk and go home with something you'll regret in the morning. Also buy some clothes. 6-10pm, FREE. 

* Friday, April 5: Baby Soda, Barbes: Baby Soda is a jazz group with strong New Orleans roots. They perform and play music in a style that might feel familiar to your grandparents, another example of Brooklyn delightfully (or annoyingly, if you so please) reviving forgotten art forms. 10pm, FREE.

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Googa Mooga Twooga: What Will Go Wrong This Year?

A few people came to 2012 Mooga (via freewilliamsburg.com)

If you don't remember, FiPS was all over The Great Googa Mooga last year. As in, a shit ton of posts about it before the event, and then, like the rest of you, a big complaint-dump about everything that went wrong afterward. 

Because that's how Brooklyn does it, and that's how Fucked in Park Slope does it. In any event, the festival returns this year, despite a bazillion tweets about the fustercluck of signing up for tickets last year and attending the the first day. (As we told you , Kick-Off and VIP tickets went on sale yesterday, with free GA tickets to be released in April.) If you don't remember, the Googa Mooga (or Gmooga, for short) is what happens if you take one of those massive, outdoor summer concert festivals and put the focus on the food vendors. And then you put it in Prospect Park, amidst the super-foodies of gentrified Brooklyn. Sounds like a brilliant plan, particularly as the fest is helmed by the folks behind the equally vowel-rich Bonaroo music fest, which has been successful enough to last 11 years. 

But. Last year was the Mooga's first time out, and shit went wrong. Though, not so wrong it warranted quite the number of complaints, IMHO. Personally, I chalked the problems up to growing pains and had a pretty good time when I was there. The first year of anything's bound to be a little shaky. Not that I didn't bitch about shit afterward. Because that is what New Yorkers do best. With the festival's return, Mr. and Mrs. Bonaroo have promised to iron out some of the kinks, with a set of promised improvements. But I don't think they know what they're up against. You think you can satisfy us by being responsive to criticism and providing us with free entertainment, Moogas? Bah! We will find things that went wrong. So, without further ado, here are my predictions for what will go wrong this time: 

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Whassup: April Is the Foolest Edition

fools (via immortal-combat.blogspot.com)

When's the last time you put much effort into an April Fool's Day prank? Personally, not since I was a kid. Which seems like a shame. There are so many cruel ways to torment your loved ones as an adult. I hope you all take greater advantage than I have. Come on! Be mean little bastards to your friends on Monday! And if that's not enough entertainment, there's always the embarrassing wealth of fun things to do in Brooklyn to make up for it. Welcome to Whassup: April Is the Foolest Edition:

* Thursday, March 28: Googa Tix, Online: Tickets onsale RIGHT NOW! NOON! TODAY! GOOGA! So yeah, everybody's favorite festival of food and music that went off perfectly last year with no hitches whatsoever returns. You can buy tickets RIGHT NOW for the opening day kickoff concert by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and The Flaming Lips. (Who are cool and all, but I'm mostly excited about The Darkness. "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" you guys! Remember that?!) You can also nab tix today for a "VIP Cocktail Experience," but that sounds really douchey to me. (The giveaway for the main festival tix happens April 1-3). $49.50-$54.50 Kickoff Concert, $79.50 VIP Cocktail, Noon.

* Monday, April 1: Geek Love, powerHouse Arena (DUMBO): Where oh where can you go in Brooklyn to find bookish types who are into drinking and games? What's that? Anywhere in Brooklyn? Mayhaps, but a little organization makes the actual meeting of said persons a lot easier. Lit Crawl NYC uses wine and trivia to make that cute stranger's thick-rimmed glasses magically appear on your nightstand in the morning. 7pm, $15.

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Whassup: It's Spring Damnit, Damnit It's Spring! Edition

Spring!! (via bi.ku.dk)

Yesterday was the first day of spring, sorta, I guess. Blame it on global weirding, blame it on rodents with mystical powers, but it's still been cold as sleet out there. How does one cope with the lingering death that is a long-ass winter? I think the same way one copes with tooth pain when one has no anesthetic: whiskey. That is to say, drinking and celebration. They warm the gullet and the soul, and perhaps the motion of our drunken, dancing bodies will warm the frigid Brooklyn air a bit. Couldn't hurt, right? Welcome to Whassup: It's Spring Damnit, Damnit It's Spring! Edition: 

* Friday, March 22-Sunday, March 24: Cajun Fest, Jalopy (Red Hook): Louisianna-based Freetown Produce will take advantage of the excess of down-home authenticity at Jalopy for this 3-day Cajun fest. Celeb chef Toby Rodriquez will teach the spicy cooking as you, the students, help prepare a huge meal full of crawdads and jazz trumpets and whatever. (That I'm assuming you also get to eat, 'cuz otherwise that's slavery.) Appropriate to the Jalopy music school, you'll also find classes in Cajun accordion and fiddle, along with performances by the pros. Passes available for day or night classes each day. $15-$37.50, 12pm-11:30pm.

* Friday, March 22: ON SALE Barenaked Ben Folds, Bandshell: I guess now people can get nostalgic for the early 2000s? Are we already at that point? Christ. It seems that way, 'cuz here comes a nostalgia grouping of Ben Folds Five, Barenaked Ladies and Guster, hitting the Celebrate Brooklyn stage in Prospect Park this summer. Tix to the July 30 show go on sale Friday, 11am, $49.50-$55 (before fees). 

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Whassup: Celtic Tiger Edition

via gravitywear.com

Why is St. Patrick's Day the best holiday? I'll tell you why: Unlike Halloween, you do not need to fill up on calorie-heavy candy. You only have to fill up on beer. Unlike Thanksgiving, you do not have to gorge on turkey and terrible casseroles. You just need to fill up on beer. And unlike Valentine's Day, you don't have to say, "I love you" over a candle-lit dinner. You just need to slur, "I love you" to some rando in the pub at 4 in the morning. What I'm trying to say is: alcoholism is still funny if you're crass enough. So, get out there and drink like you mean it. Welcome to Whassup: Celtic Tiger Edition.

* Friday, March 15-Saturday, March 16: Brooklyn Country Cantina, SXSW: For any of you Slopesters down in Austin to see the local TX hipster fare (note: they're the same as they are here), you can catch some of Brooklyn's surprisingly quality country musicians while you're there. Or maybe you just want a remembrance of Brooklyn amidst all the alarming open space and lack of subway stank. Expect howls of "This band was made in…New York City!?" Except everyone there probably lived in Brooklyn for a time, anyway. Personal favorites include the Defibulators and Michaela Anne. Noon-late, both nights. $5. 

* Saturday, March 16: Erotic Fan Fiction, Union Hall: I think we can all agree that the characters in Harry Potter should have just been fucking each other. Like, the hell out of each other. And that's what fan fiction is for: to fill in the gaps (so to speak) that the wholesome J.K. Rowlings of the world neglected to address. Here, the LA-based fan fiction show comes to Brooklyn, bringing a set of comics to share their delightfully horrible sexual fantasies of Spock and Kirk, Mulder and Scully, and Papa Smurf and Smurfette. 8 pm, $10.

* Saturday, March 16-St. Paddy's: Irish Brunch, Jalopy Tavern: Now, I'm not going to make an Irish-drunk joke, but those of Celtic heritage sure do know how to whip up a hangover breakfast. Take advantage with Jalopy's new brunch service, with full Irish breakfasts -- including a hair-of-the-dog pint of Guinness. Don't worry about the calories. Most of them will be coming back out later in a torrent of green beer. 11am-3pm, $4 brunch pints. 

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