Googa Mooga Twooga: What Will Go Wrong This Year?

A few people came to 2012 Mooga (via freewilliamsburg.com)

If you don't remember, FiPS was all over The Great Googa Mooga last year. As in, a shit ton of posts about it before the event, and then, like the rest of you, a big complaint-dump about everything that went wrong afterward. 

Because that's how Brooklyn does it, and that's how Fucked in Park Slope does it. In any event, the festival returns this year, despite a bazillion tweets about the fustercluck of signing up for tickets last year and attending the the first day. (As we told you , Kick-Off and VIP tickets went on sale yesterday, with free GA tickets to be released in April.) If you don't remember, the Googa Mooga (or Gmooga, for short) is what happens if you take one of those massive, outdoor summer concert festivals and put the focus on the food vendors. And then you put it in Prospect Park, amidst the super-foodies of gentrified Brooklyn. Sounds like a brilliant plan, particularly as the fest is helmed by the folks behind the equally vowel-rich Bonaroo music fest, which has been successful enough to last 11 years. 

But. Last year was the Mooga's first time out, and shit went wrong. Though, not so wrong it warranted quite the number of complaints, IMHO. Personally, I chalked the problems up to growing pains and had a pretty good time when I was there. The first year of anything's bound to be a little shaky. Not that I didn't bitch about shit afterward. Because that is what New Yorkers do best. With the festival's return, Mr. and Mrs. Bonaroo have promised to iron out some of the kinks, with a set of promised improvements. But I don't think they know what they're up against. You think you can satisfy us by being responsive to criticism and providing us with free entertainment, Moogas? Bah! We will find things that went wrong. So, without further ado, here are my predictions for what will go wrong this time: 

Now 3 Days! The Moogatroids have expanded from last year's tease of a two-day festival to give use three days of outdoor enjoyment. The new day is a music kick-off, featuring The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Flaming Lips and The Darkness. Oh, GREAT! Entertaining bands. Fantastic. It's gonna drive business away from the Bell House, Rock Shop, Barbes and all the fantastic music venues in the Park Slope area. Way to ruin local business, guys!

No Lez Zeppelin this year, unfortunately (via lizardking.com)

Better Music! In a related point, that kick-off concert is better than anything last year (except perhaps the Roots and that weird Japanese anime band. They were amazing.) But, generally, the 2012 Mooga had the feel of a county fair's music lineup: one band you really want to see, a bunch of stuff you've never heard of, a big stupid nostalgia act (Mr. Hall and Senor Oates), and cover bands (Van Halen and Led Zeppelin). This year, in addition to the Kick-Off show, there'll be free performances by local indie energy balls Matt & Kim, Sharon Jones, De La Soul, Cults, Pearl and the Beard, and more. Of course. Throw a food festival with amazing treats and distract us with excellent musical performances. We multitask every day at work, let us concentrate on one thing at a time on the weekend, guys! 

Shorter Lines! Last year, the foodie whores of the BK were appalled -- APPALLED -- at the long lines for food at a free festival. In fact, many of the most coveted foods sold out very quickly. It seemed as if the logistical planning was not quite up to snuff. This year, the Googly ones have worked with "restaurant experts" (I guess, fat people?) to improve the food-getting experience: more points of sale, more servers, and more food. We're facing an obesity epidemic in this country, Monsieur Moogle. If diabetes cases skyrocket after this May, I lay the blame solely at your moogly feet. 

Vegetables! Oddly, last year's event seemed almost hostile to vegetarians, despite the preponderance of bacon resistors in Brooklyn. This year, the GMs have lined up 8 full-veg meals, raw foods, and other things that I find boring. That's a lot of veggies, guys. In fact, that's so much fiber, that I think we will collectively fart a new hole in the ozone layer. Way to hate on the environment, Googa!

This year, there will be veggies amidst the bacon. (via nonabrooklyn.com)

Water! Many very reasonable and responsible citizens complained that there was a dearth of water for an outdoor festival last year. That is a health-conscious and wise observation. This time out, Moog City intends to keep us all exceedingly lubricated. Do you guys have any idea how much harder it is to get drunk when you're not dehydrated? Way to drive up liquor sales, you capitalist pigs. 

Tweet Away! Probably the biggest complaint in the 2012 Mooga was that we couldn't tweet our complaints at the festival. The Nethermead morphed into a cell phone dead zone when that massive crowd descended with its Droids and Pads and whatever. This year, cell phone towers will mightily broadcast tweets of your meals. Oh great, just what we need: more social media pics of what people are eating. (Actually, that is a legitimate gripe.) 

Easy Entry! Lastly, the Mooga-ers promise to make entry and exit easier this year. Honestly, I don't remember that being a problem. Maybe if you don't know the park very well? Or can't figure out that you follow the massive flow of people who are also holding printed tickets? So what could go wrong with more signage? That just means more surface area for sick tags. And graffiti is a crime, MoogaGooga! Way to contribute to the delinquency of Park Slope's pampered youth. 

Yeah, so in conclusion, have a good time, guys. The cool thing about life is that it never goes quite as planned. You will find wonderful things to complain about at Googa Mooga Year Two that none of us ever expected. Now, get out there and tweet!