Betcha Didn't Know -- Fun Facts About NYC

New Yorkers pride themselves as the best disseminators of information on—well, Earth.  When a tourist asks for directions we’ll not only direct with accuracy, we’ll regale them with an historic retelling of whichever landmark they seek—shit, we may even draw you a map. That’s just how we do. We’re a proud city of know-it-alls.  

In light of the aforementioned you may be surprised to discover that you may not, in fact, know it all.  BuzzFeed recently reported 60 interesting facts that even the savviest local probably doesn’t know. I’ve picked my 5 favs and my reactions to share with you:

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WHASSUP: WELCOME NEWBIE EDITION

Whassup, FIPSters?  I find it a propos that, on this first day of spring, I greet you as the new writer of WHASSUP.  I couldn’t be happier to take the reigns. You likely have no clue, but I’ve been writing for FIPS for a couple years now and am so happy to take over this established, well-respected column. Do I smell a Pulitzer?

I’ll be hitting you up each week with suggestions for cool, unusual, self-fulfilling, community driven, and sometimes downright shameful goings on…s.  My curated collection shall by no means be the be-all-end-all—there’s way too much shit to weed through for that. It will instead offer cool happenings that I discover through tireless research, colleague suggestions, and referrals from you fine people.

I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this, but please don’t hesitate to share your reactions to my weekly lineups. If I’m giving you way to much ponies and ribbons, but you’re more into ball gags and pie eating contests—you better fucking tell me. If you go to an event that I suggested and it fully sucks balls—I want to know.  If you’re pleasantly surprised and want more of the same — send me a smile; it’ll last for a while.

Without further ado, here’s Whassup:

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Beard Transplants

Photo credit: DesignLobe via Thinkstock.com

DNA Info New York recently reported that Facial Hair Transplants are a growing trend among “hipsters” from “Williamsburg to Park Slope.”  Really?  Is this really a thing?  There are people so desperate for facial hair that they’re actually paying doctors to rip it from their head and stick it in their cheeks?  Way harsh!

As far as I can tell Brooklyn is in no shortage for epic beards.  I can’t roll my long board down the street without being caught in a thick net of manly face locks. 

My bros and I don’t often enter into facial hair discussions, but I don’t believe any are struggling with cheek and neck baldness.  Sure, I’ve met the odd dude who is only bothered to shave their peach fuzz once a month.  You know what I call that?  One lucky motherfucker!  My five o’clock shadow has a five o’clock shadow.  In fact I’m now thinking of selling my excess facial hair to those less fortunate.  No, not donating—selling.  A dude has got to eat.

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[FIPS Works Out] Gym Rat Edition

January is over. Have you already bagged on your New Year's Resolution to work out at least twice a week? Yeah, I thought so. This post is the first in a new series where FIPS writers tell you what they do to stay in shape.

When I walk on by, girls be lookin’ like, “Damn, he fly.” Well…I work out—and I don’t work out just anywhere. I’m a passport member of the cream of the crop. That’s right, New York Sports Club, or NYSC for those of us literally in the club. Not to brag, but I enjoy some pretty sweet members-only amenities, like unlimited ratty-ass towels and tri-coloré shower accouterments. And the equipment—oh the equipment. Don’t even get me started. Would you believe that the benches are re-vinyled at least once every sweaty, oozing ‘roid rage, back-pimpled, ten years? Benefits, my friends. Benefits.

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This Rat Map

Image via nyc.govLookout Google Maps, there’s a new, interactive cartographic masterpiece in town. The New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene recently launched the Rat Information Portal, or RIP for short. See what they did there? Personally I would have shot for an acronym using the word RAT like Rodents Are There or Rats Are Terrible—I’m still ironing out the kinks. 

Disclaimer: the following paragraph is based on my lame rat map experience using my less than impressive, often mental-breakdown-inducing Time Warner Internet.

I successfully navigated to the map because I’m not a fucking idiot and was instantly perplexed. The fucking map took about a year to load. I watched an entire season of “Downton Abbey”, did my taxes, and rearranged my apartment while waiting for this shit to load. Anyone else having this trouble? I’m sure you bastards with FIOS know not this issue.

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