WHASSUP: Home Sick Edition

Good day, FIPsters. Today I write from the comforts of the sick ward—my bed. There's something going around and it has taken a giant bite out of my ass and left me with a 102 fever to show for it. I apologize if this post is completely nonsensical and lacking any good recommedations for the coming days. I promise that I'll be firing on all cylinders by next week. 

In the meantime, hit me up with some recommendations, review some events, and let me know what you like. You know, I get off on that shit.

And now, WHASSUP? Eh, I'm going back to sleep:

Friday, 4/25, The Feelies, The Bell House: After a 19-year hiatus, the Feelies are bringing you a new album, which promises to tie together their old groove with new musical themes. This is gonna be a good one. $25, Doors 8pm, Show 9pm

Saturday, 4/26, Friends of Park Slope Book Sale: I remember fondly the book sale from elementary school at which the “Book Lady”, as she was affectionately known, would peddle paperbacks such as Superfudge and The Hardy Boys.  I can only imagine that this event will be exactly the same. Park Slope Branch Brooklyn Public Library, Free Admission, 11am-4pm

Saturday, 4/26, A Butterfly for Brooklyn, Prospect Park: Who’d have thought that Fireworks can be inspired by vaginas?  As I close my eyes I can picture just what the skies over Prospect Park are going to look like on Saturday—and to be honest, I’m a little excited. FREE, 7:30pm

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WHASSUP: Easter Edition

Happy almost Easter, peep munchers. As you gear up for a diabetic coma of jelly bean proportions, I suggest you get out the house and live it up in the slope. Sunday may be the day for egg hunting and church goin', but there are six other days worthy of your attention, jam packed with like—totally fun shit.  

Which events will you be attending this week? Which events will you not be caught dead at? Find your voice and tell a brother. I just want you to have fun.

WHASSUP?  WWJD?  Read below and I'll answer both: 

Thursday, 4/17, North of Nashville, Union Hall: I absolutely despise country music but, on the off chance that any of you want to hear melifluous tales of the unrequited love of a man and his pickup truck, I thought I’d hock this event. Hats and boot are accepted, but you have to check your spurs at the door. $10, Doors 8pm, Show 9pm

Friday, 4/18, Easter is for Lovers Party, Babeland: A rabbit workshop—how apropos. There’s nothing like preempting the resurrection by heading to the neighborhood porn shop and learning a thing or two about pleasuring oneself. FREE, 7pm

Friday, 4/18-Sunday 4/20, Brooklyn Folk Festival, The Bell House: This shit is so big I have you covered for the whole damn weekend. It's time for the 6^th Annual Brooklyn Folk Fest.  My hankering for a banjo is so intense right now. $75 (3 day pass), may purchase days individually 

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WHASSUP: Do Shit and Like it Edition

 

Hey, y'all! It's Thursday again and Thursday is where I suggest outings to break the monotony—then you either go or you don't. I have no clue becuase you never tell me! I'll remind you again—your feedback is priceless. Let me elaborate. If you have something stupid to say (you know who you are) keep it to yourself. If you have a review of an event you attended based on my recommendation, I'm all ears. I can't make it to every single event so I need your help vetting these things. I need to know, for example, if Littlefield punches babies in the face as an opening act. That shit doesn't fly with me and I'll black list them so hardcore they'll have to change their name to...Tinyfield—I'll work on that one.  

ps. The Tribecca Film festival kicks off next week. Our favorite neighbor, Patrick Stewart, has a film in it! Get your tickets before it's too late!

So WHA-THE FUCK-SSUP?  I'll tell you WHASSUP:

Thursday, 4/10, Platform, The New York Transit Museum: If you haven’t been to the transit museum you’re long overdue. It’s a treasure trove of info that pieces together how this modern marvel and daily fucking headache came to be. I’m still not exactly sure what this event is, but it sounds like interpretive performance art inspired by the subway. If that doesn’t fill the seats I don’t know what will. $10, 6:30-9pm 

Friday, 4/11, Urban Omnibus Block Party 2014, Gowanus Ballroom: Why drop 50 bones to benefit an organization you’ve probably never heard of? Well, for starters, Dino BBQ is catering; there are pies from Greenpoint Pie Corps, a smattering of booze from other local vendors, not to mention the views and smells of our lovely canal.  $50, 7-10pm

Saturday, 4/12, Isle of Rhodes, Rock Shop: If you know what a Rhodes is without googling I’ll be impressed as shit. Hit up the Rock Shop and get an auditory erection from a funkadelic instrument that Stevie Wonder popularized way back when. Word to the wise: grab a drink first at Mission Delores next door. It’s lovely and dog friendly. $8-$10, 8pm

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WHASSUP: The Challenge Edition

It's way too easy to fall victim to the grind and get stuck in an everyday routine punctuated only by a weekly Sunday brunch with watered-down bloody mary's. This week I urge you to try new things. Let your freak flag fly, FIPSters. Leave your brownstone in the dust and discover the groovy world at your fingertips.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to do at least one event on this God-forsaken list—something that takes you so far from your comfort zone that your sweater set bursts into flames.

Whassup? Well, fuck—this is wassup:

Thursday, April 3, Behind the Micro Epics, MS 51: Treat yourself to brilliance. Gregory Crewdson’s “micro epics” are worth at least 1001 words and exist at the intersection of fine art and high-end cinematography. Behind the Micro Epics is a documentary that follows Crewdson’s work for 10 years, capturing his gift to delve into the deepest corners of the psyche and expose the innermost darkness.  6:15pm-9:30pm, $15 adv, $20 door

Thursday, April 3, First Thursdays Gallery Walk, DUMBO: Yes! Any excuse to explore DUMBO is a good one, and the first Thursday of each month is no exception. Get your ass on the F, A, or C after work and culturize yourselves with a multi-gallery romp.  Drink Deals are an added bonus as many bars offer special happy hours. FREE admission to the galleries

Friday, April 4, Opera on Tap, Barbés: O sole mio, this is gonna be a real hootenanny!  Whether you’re an aspiring Brunhilda, or complete skeptic, I guarantee this is something you’ve never seen.  We’re not talking 5 acts and subtitles.  Each piece is 10 minutes or less—mercy-opera. These suckers are so short they may be over before the fat lady sings. $10 suggested donation, 8pm

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WHASSUP: A Little of This, A Little of That Edition

This week is serving up a plethora of outings for all walks of life.  From children to dorky singles, sports enthusiasts to folks looking to yuck it up—have I got something for you!? 

The weather is threatening to warm up and leave this fucking miserable winter behind, so I've included a couple outdoor activities.  If it's too cold, blame that bastard groundhog and do something else.  

So, Whassup?  I'll tell you Whassup:

Thursday, March 27, Prospect Park Carousel Reopens, Prospect Park (obvi): Kiddies and adults can once again mount those majestic equines, carved in 1912, and head off in counterclockwise orbits to the hee-haw-haw sounds of a calliope. Thursdays-Sundays, 12pm-5pm, $2 for a single ride, $7 for a 10 pass

Thursday, March 27, How to Build a Fire: Advancing the Oral Tradition, Open Source Gallery, South Slope: I think advancing the oral tradition is of utmost importance, a right of passage if you will, for generations to come. Wait. What? Oh, it's storytelling?  I mean...that's cool too, I guess. 7:30pm, FREE

Friday, March 28, Hip Hop and R&B Sing Along, Union Hall:  "Kris Kross'll make ya jump, jump". Too soon? I'm so giddy with excitement—I'm up in here wearing my smoothest Hammer pants and doing the running man, while rapping Ice Ice Baby. Doors 9:30pm, Show 10pm, $8

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