New kosher joint opening in Prospect Heights

photo via Mason & Mugg on FacebookAs new storefronts pop up daily I find myself wondering, “what is this neighborhood missing?”  We have all manner of shops, a hulking sports arena and our very own mini central park of sorts.  If only we had a joint that conformed to the regulations of kashrut.  Now up—kosher cuisine brought to you by the purveyors of underground supper club, The Hester. I bring to you, Mason & Mug.

Okay, it’s not exactly in Park Slope proper.  That is, it’s just a hop, skip and hava nagila across Flatbush to the under-explored neighborhood of Prospect Heights, on Washington Ave. between St. Marks and Prospect.  You may be wondering why you’d venture north for a kosher kick-in-the-pants when you have plenty of tasty eats to choose from between 4^th and 8th. Well for starters, Mason and Mug promises to offer small, affordable plates, bringing us their take on street food from around the world.  Not satisfied?  There will also be a selection of beer and kosher wine to wash down that eclectic street meat.  Have I piqued your interest?

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Eating For A Good Cause

Image via chipsonline.orgI’m calling to you, loyal readers, to turn your attention to a great cause—while stuffing your faces.  CHIPS (Park Slope Christian Help, Inc.), founded in 1971, provides more than 200 meals daily to the hungry. 

Tuesday, October 29^th is The Good Night Out: Brooklyn Restaurant Night to help raise some of the $500,000 yearly budget that CHIPS needs to make a different.  12 Park Slope restaurants have already signed on for the evening, pledging to donate 15% of every dinner check to CHIPS.  The more you eat, the more you give so figure in the cheat day on the 29^th, forget your diet of kale and quinoa, choose your favorite spot from the list of restaurants, make a reservation, and get your grub on. 

It’s as simple as that!

[What You Should Order At...] 67 Burger

I am ever in search of an amazing burger, and with the burger joint boom of the past few years, there hasn’t been a shortage of places to try.  My most recent search led me to 67 Burger.  Don’t let the name fool you.  There are not 67 Burgers to choose from.  There are infinite combinations.  I defy you to count them all—we polled our favorite mathematician and his brain exploded. 

In an effort to be fully transparent, I must tell you that I’m a vegetarian.  I know, I know—you’re thinking that I’m a shit-faced posing hipster, and you’re welcome to your opinion, but I need you to know that I’ll still be running marathons while your meat-laden asses continue to dishonor the sacred cow at the Pearly Gates Café and Gastropub…no offense.  That said—here’s my review: 

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Brooklyn Under Iowa Invasion

Image via vanquishall.tripod.comLet’s face it; we see some pretty weird stuff as residents of the crazy capital of the world. Now, according to concerned Brooklynite Joel Siegel, you can add another phenomenon to the already long list—a sudden increase in Iowa License plates. I mean, fire up the presses.

Siegel, a Ditmas Park lawyer, maintains that something just ain’t right on them there streets. Okay, I’m sure he said it much more eloquently, probably with a few “I objects” and whole lot of “I hold you in contempt."  He’s fit to be tied because a slew of corn growing, cousin lovers are making parking in his quiet neighborhood even more difficult.

Convinced that there’s a conspiracy afoot, Siegel contacted the Iowa DOT, the Iowa Insurance Division and a handful of NY government muckity-mucks providing them with 20 Iowa tag numbers to check into. The official replied, “Are you fucking kidding!?”  I’m paraphrasing. 

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Park Slope Missed Connections

Love floods the want ads and there are probably none so infamous as the Craigslist personals section.  When I received this assignment I set out to malign the Craigslist crazies, expecting to find smut-packed posts with pictures of big ole dongs.  What I found was much different and, as it turns out, a bit trickier to make fun of.  I found hope.  Sure there were a few nasty folks out there looking to get their rocks off in a deserted playground, but the surprising majority were well-written and seemingly well-intended.  Whaaaat!?

As I read deeper to find missed connections in our area, the posts read not like desperate sheep fuckers, but far more like journal entries; scratched out stories of—hope.  Shit!  Now, either I’m getting soft in my age or there’s something going on here.  Does the living, breathing animal that never sleeps and leaves the hesitant in its wake need more?  Are you lonely New York?

Here’s some reviews on examples I found: 

The path to target is not one of romance.  Let me not blur the lines, but this dude is just saying “hey,” not, “next time you borrow my lighter I’ll let you burn my nipples."

Sweet and simple.  An animal is mentioned, but not as an object of bestiality as one roaming Craigslist might expect.  We’ve all enjoyed a knowing glance, the brink of connection.  Shit—gets me all squirrely just thinking about it.     

This shit is a bit long-winded.  Get in, get out.  The mention of E.E. Cummings is masturbatory—pardon the pun.  All-in-all it’s pretty damn heartfelt, albeit sappy. 

Nice and straight forward!  Knowing the exact drink is a tad roofie-licious, but I can overlook that for the sentiment behind it. 

Am I urging you to find love on Craigslist Missed Connections?  No!  I am, however, hoping that you take your balls out of your purse, seize opportunity and make your connection before it’s too late.  After all—what the fuck do you have to lose?

I leave you with this last gem of gems:

…he may have gone a little too far.