Whassup: Turkey Talking Edition

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Nutella. Public transportation in a winter city. Being an adult who knows how to handle a hangover. Yoga pants. What are you thankful for? Someone is likely to ask you this over Thanksgiving, so it's probably best to have an answer prepared. "My health" is a solid, if normcore response. "My good looks" is a great joke response if you are an unattractive bald uncle (hopefully, my future). But why not just go for the gusto, and start up an uncomfortable family discussion right off the bat? "I'm thankful we're going to put a Clinton back in the White House!"DISCUSSION INITIATED! But whatever you SAY, you should BE thankful for this: Brooklyn has everything you could possibly need to stay brain-numbed and entertained at all times. So get out there and show your tryptophan-addled brain something good. Welcome to Whassup: Turkey Talking Edition:

* Saturday, Nov. 29: Small Biz Saturday, Slope Shops: Black Friday? That's a shit-show of consumerist stampedes and exploited workers. Cyber Monday? Just clicking on a screen (with a name that I will never stop considering funny). But Small Business Saturday might actually be worth something. Throw some bucks to your local shopkeeps and support the 'hood. From the specialty cheeses and beers of South Slope's Ploughman to Babeland's dildoporium off north 5th, there are plenty of local goods to fill you and your loved ones' orifices with something wonderful.

* Saturday, Nov. 29: WATERPLANET, Tea Lounge: If you were expecting a massively over-budgeted Kevin Costner sci-fi dystopia flick, I'm sorry to disappoint you. This is WaterPLANET, which is a different thing. There is 100% less Kevin Costner drinking his own urine and 100% more psychedelic folk. The two singer/songwriters (Milli Landrum and Jim Hesser) blend poppy melodies with vocal experimentation. They can also breathe underwater with their mutant gills. 9pm-11pm, FREE.

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Windsor Terrace Is One Step Closer to Becoming Park Slope

Oh how that title will rub people the wrong way. But think about it, especially those of you who live in the WT (I've been a resident for 13 years) you've seen the change. Not that I think it's all a bad thing. I'm just acknowledging that it's been happening. And this bit of news is sealing the deal.

Since I'm the master of burying the lede, let me now provide you with one: The Windsor Terrace Food Coop is going to happen. Or as the Daily News so artfully put it: "Brooklyn's budding food cooperative is nearing its first harvest." 

This momentous news stems from an announcement that the fledgling coop is negotiating a lease agreement for a future home on Caton Avenue and East 8th Street (which is technically Kensington). The coop's leader Jack O'Connell says he's hesitant to announce the exact address for fear that someone may swoop down and make a better offer.

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Raze Parking Lots* and Put Up a Co-o-n-do (with apologies to Joni Mitchell)

This is the kind of topsy-turvy Park Slope world we’re living in: a bunch of co-op shopping, dog-loving, anti-Cuomo Democrats are about to get real sentimental about a parking garage. Because as onerous as a parking lot was to Joni c. 1970, new condos and a shortage of parking are to “long-time” (i.e., 5+ years) Park Slope residents. Fess up, neighbors: how many times have you heard yourself exclaiming 1) “can you believe all this new f*cking construction?! No wonder 321 is so crowded!” and 2) “I drove around for a fucking hour this morning looking for a fucking spot!”

Get your Kleenex out. The owner of 798 Union Street, a couple of doors away from the Co-op, apparently wants to octuple (or whatever) his rental income by converting the building into residential units.

Simple math: more residential units, fewer parking units = “I drove around for two hours this morning looking for a spot and didn’t find one and had to drive to Carnarsie to park and take the L train to Manhattan and transfer to the R to come back to Park Slope!”

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[SPONSORED] Wherever You Wanna Go, Car2go Can Get You There

Santa Con Not Welcome in Bushwick After All

Remember how we told you yesterday that Santa Con would be moving from the East Village to Bushwick this year? JK! LOLZ! Turns out, the people of Bushwick were having none of that:

"Our community's growing and changing, but we still have a lot of young children here," CB 4 District Manager Nadine Whitted pointed out. "To have them witness the image of Santa Claus, to see that image being destroyed with whatever this group is going to bring, I think is something that couldn't come here."

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