Brilliant Idea: Speed Dating For Moms

Image via Glamour.comLongestshortesttime.com is producing a pretty fucking smart upcoming event:

What: Speed Dating for Moms—get matched up with your next BFF

Where: The Bell House; 149 7th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11215

When: Wednesday, October 22, in the evening

Why: Because you’ve been complaining about not being able to find mama friends who don’t judge you!

What else: Treats + free drinks! (What else do you need?)

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FIPS JUICY: BEST STORIES OF THE WEEK

In case you spent all week gathering your survival kit for the impending Ebola outbreak, here's a roundup of juicy FIPS news that graced the pages of our blog this week:

* Gracie Does Brooklyn

* Review'd: Table 87

* FIPS Broken News: Bedbugs Found on N Trains

* Tell Us How You Really Feel About...Composting

* Atlantic Yards Hastily Rebranded "Pacific Park" By Housing Developer

* [FIPS Was There...] Coney Island

Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

COMMUNITY – Stray cat strut!

Meowwwwww. I don't bother chasing mice around. I slink down the alley looking for a fight. Howling to the moonlight on a hot summer night. I don’t know how relevant that is. Feels right though. There is a new monthly swing night starting in Park Slope. It starts with a half hour class and the first guest is Cynthia Hopkins. She’s the cat’s pajamas. Really whizz bang terrific, daddio!

GIG – Sexual Harassee

I’m not sure harassee is a real world. In fact it sounds like something Pootie Tang would say. Sa Da Tay. Yeah. This dude is looking to hire a flirty secretary. For clerical errands and fun. Maybe you’re into that. We don’t judge here.

RANTS - HYGIENE

The first person suggests doing all sorts of hygiene things with baking soda. Like a WD40 for the human body. Could definitely get into that. I’m cheap as hell. Then somebody responds! He or she got burns on their skin from using baking soda in place of soap. Oh no! Also, he/she felt like their teeth were going to fall out of their head when they used it as toothpaste. We’re going to need our teeth. It’s almost corn season for god’s sakes. Stay away from baking soda. Be safe out there.

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Gracie Does Brooklyn

Image via west elm

Imagine my how my interest was piqued when I received an email from all-of-a-sudden-ubiquitous west elm [sic: they like it lower case, because, ya know] proudly announcing the furniture emporium’s “iconic NYC makeover – bringing Brooklyn to Gracie Mansion!” My goodness, I wondered, what could west elm [sic] possibly know about Brooklyn? So I did some digging around.

I had taken west elm [sic] to be some latter day Pottery Barn (remember when their stores were everywhere, their catalogues stuffed your mailbox 3 times a week, and Phoebe Buffay [hippie] hated it, while Ross and Rachel [yuppies] loved it?). PB, as I’ve affectionately never called it, had disappeared from my sight lines in recent years, but shame on me, I should’ve known better, because west elm [sic], like Pottery Barn, Williams-Sonoma, and the rest, is just another holding in 98-year-old Chuck Williams’s portfolio of tasteful, vaguely urban, mid-upscale home furnishings purveyors.

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REVIEW'D: Table 87

Fucking Mayor de Blasio...AMIRITE? Dude's doing his damnedest to drive the whole "I eat my pizza with a fork & knife because people totally do it back in Italy" thing home. SAME AS THE OLD BOSS. After pulling that shit in Staten Island & getting called out, dude went on vacay to the motherland a few weeks back & pulled that shit AGAIN. BDB whipped out a f'n fork & knife and went to town on a slice. RIGHT IN F'N NAPLES. It's like he's trying to prove some lame point. For Brooklyn's sake, get it together Billy. FOLD THAT SHIT. REPRESENT CORRECT.

As far as I know, since becoming mayor he hasn't exhibited that dainty, hands-off business in Brooklyn. Still, I bet when the de Blasios lived on 11th St & ordered a pie, BDB pulled out a fork & knife. Then his son Dante was all OH HELL NO. Afro.

Lately, I've learned that there's definitely an argument for using a fork & knife, but I'm not entirely sure this is why the mayor does so. These days, your standard NYC pizzas are basically "dollar slice," "takeout slice," "old school slice" & the recently-exploding "authentic/gourmet slice." For that fourth category, a fork & knife definitely come in handy. For everything else...use yer damn hands.

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