REVIEW'D: Table 87

Fucking Mayor de Blasio...AMIRITE? Dude's doing his damnedest to drive the whole "I eat my pizza with a fork & knife because people totally do it back in Italy" thing home. SAME AS THE OLD BOSS. After pulling that shit in Staten Island & getting called out, dude went on vacay to the motherland a few weeks back & pulled that shit AGAIN. BDB whipped out a f'n fork & knife and went to town on a slice. RIGHT IN F'N NAPLES. It's like he's trying to prove some lame point. For Brooklyn's sake, get it together Billy. FOLD THAT SHIT. REPRESENT CORRECT.

As far as I know, since becoming mayor he hasn't exhibited that dainty, hands-off business in Brooklyn. Still, I bet when the de Blasios lived on 11th St & ordered a pie, BDB pulled out a fork & knife. Then his son Dante was all OH HELL NO. Afro.

Lately, I've learned that there's definitely an argument for using a fork & knife, but I'm not entirely sure this is why the mayor does so. These days, your standard NYC pizzas are basically "dollar slice," "takeout slice," "old school slice" & the recently-exploding "authentic/gourmet slice." For that fourth category, a fork & knife definitely come in handy. For everything else...use yer damn hands.

The place that made me realize this was Table 87, the Parkwanus pizza joint that opened up on the corner of 3rd & 10th a few months back. It's the spawn of the original Table 87, which opened on Atlantic in 2012 with their "Pizza State of Mind" theme song. Their selling point: they're the first to serve coal oven slices in Brooklyn. I'm too lazy to do extensive research but can this really be true? According to Grub Street, just over a dozen NYC locales currently serve coal oven pizza. Two are in Brooklyn: Table 87 & Grimaldi's. Grimaldi's doesn‘t do slices...but the first? EVER? Maybe "7 on Your Side" should investigate for possible fraud? Even if it is the first, I really don't get what the big deal is.

It's a cool place regardless. Up front, there are a bunch of tables & a bar where you can easily just stop in for a pint & a slice. The separate seating area in the back teems with families & the handful of outdoor tables round out a pretty large space that's littered with exposed brick.

As for the pizza that made me accept the knife & fork...Though all their pizzas (especially the Breakfast Pizza) sound pretty delish, I'm all about fig on pizza so, on multiple occasions I’ve ordered the 12" Fig, Speck, Arugula, Mozzarella & San Marzano Tomatoes Pizza ($16).

The ingredients are basically tossed on top as opposed to baked in so, without a fork & knife, you risk losing them all on the first bite. Sure you can pile them back on once they've fallen off, but you'll get your lil' hands all dirty. BDB doesn't like getting his hands dirty, so neither should you. Grab a fork & knife.

The first time I tried the fig pizza, it was on the money. The second time, parts of it were consumed by huge air bubbles, creating way too crackery of a crust.

Shit fell all over the place. It made me long for Toby's fig pizza. Twas still good though. More crust meant more opportunity for me to pile on their complimentary homemade roasted garlic.

While the draw is the coal oven pizza, the menu goes beyond pizza. The appetizers are obvs all Italian with stuff like Baked Clams ($10), eight half-egg sized clams breaded & baked.

As a New Englander, I generally prefer my clams with a dark, sandy belly but Table 87's sufficed.

Since you Park Slope/Parkwanus types love salads, they've got five on the menu. The standout is the Apple Almond Crunch Salad with Raisins, Goat Cheese & Raspberry Dressing ($10). The combo of ingredients is kinda awesome. Sometimes it's crunchy. Sometimes it's sweet. Sometimes it's leafy. Sometimes it's fruity. Mostly, it's good.

If you like your meal more contained, they've got a bunch of sandwiches & calzones. There's a Short Rib Beef Burger ($14). I've been too focused on pizza to get to that yet...all in due time.

Their Prosciutto, Mozzarella, Ricotta, Arugula Pesto Calzone ($14) makes me reconsider Boston-area calzones. After growing up on delicious-but-salty calzones, Table 87's delivered a flavorful but non-salty calzone. The prosciutto only showed up in pockets though, which is good if you like surprises, i suppose.

The beverage selection includes beers like Other Half ($7) & a bunch of wines. There's apparently a happy hour from 5-7pm that'd allow me to get beers for $2 less, but I've yet to experience that.

All in all, the joint's kinda expensive...not prohibitively so but I guess you just need to decide if you're a semi-high roller. Daily specials will run you around $30. On one night, the lady & I shelled out $70 for an app, two entrees & three drinks. Guess who had the third drink.

I still don't really give a fuck about coal-oven pizza. Maybe I'm a fascist. Who knows? I'm cool with Table 87 though. Every time, the people have been friendly as all hell. That alone makes me want to go back. De Blasio should totally grab a slice there...& eat it with a f'n fork. REPRESENT PARKWANUS, BDB.

Table 87, 473 3rd Avenue (corner of 10th St)