Brilliant Idea: Speed Dating For Moms

Image via Glamour.comLongestshortesttime.com is producing a pretty fucking smart upcoming event:

What: Speed Dating for Moms—get matched up with your next BFF

Where: The Bell House; 149 7th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11215

When: Wednesday, October 22, in the evening

Why: Because you’ve been complaining about not being able to find mama friends who don’t judge you!

What else: Treats + free drinks! (What else do you need?)

The disingenuous part is obviously that non-judgmental mommy friends do not exist. Bitches gotta bitch and that unicorn is unfuckinglikely, sisters. But there’s always the hope of finding a kindred spirit, another woman whose Venn diagram of interests/principles/guilty pleasures/morals/particular brand of bat-shit crazy jives with your own. Five minutes is all I need to ask a few key questions.

For example, I don’t care about your religious beliefs, but what about science? Do you believe that vaccines are a) a non-negotiable b) a good idea, but shouldn’t be mandatory c) part of a vast conspiracy by Bill Gates, the Illuminati and Barack Obama in an effort to bring about the coming of Gozer?

Secondly, I know it's a popular parenting technique not to use the word “no,” but rather to offer the child a positive alternative instead (i.e. "here's something you CAN destroy.") Do you consider “Yes And” to be the first rule of comedy, or a parenting philosophy to which you subscribe?  Personally, I think it’s a sure fire guaranteed way to raise an asshole. It’s not like I’m advocating La Chancla, the timeless Mexican child rearing technique by which I was raised (getting beaten with a house slipper) but I’m not saying it doesn’t work either. 

M'kay, one last question. Do you live to eat or eat to live? Part B, follow up question…Fuck, Marry or Kill: Whiskey, Dairy, Gluten?

And that’s all the time we have! Let’s see who the studio audience picked! We’ll be right back in two and two…