Shit, Now I gotta Go Eat More Bagels and Get Fattr

Fine. You all win.

I've received four separate emails from pleading Park Slopers about how Bagel Hole is actually the hands down, real deal, no joke best bagel in da Slope (NOT La Bagel Delight). And now Jewssip is so fired up she's posting about this shit too.

I care A LOT about you bitches, so here's what I'm gonna do: This weekend, I will go to Bagel Hole. Jewssip and I will have a bagel off.

I will eat bagels...and cream cheese...and get fattr.

And report back on Monday.

Brooklyn in The House

Two phatty phat Brooklyn apartment tours (If your decorating style is: "dirty clothes piles to the right, clean clothes piles to the left, do NOT click either of these links. They will make you feel bad).

Kelly & Stuart Master Modern Glamour
Location: Prospect Heights
Size: 675sf

Laura's Pared Down Perfection
Location: Caroll Gardens
Size: 250sf

Sidenote: Laura is a professional organizer! You should totally call her if you need shit organized...and aren't completely poor.

(via Apartment Therapy)

FIPS ToDo's

*Spot where this photo was taken in Brooklyn "Back in the Day" (NY Shitty)

*Get an internship at Gawker...like James Frey (Daily Intel).

*Sext with the one u lurv (College OTR).

*Check out the year's most popular search terms on googlez (Google Zeitgeist).

*Park Slope rez and all around cool girl Kristen Schaal (aka Mel), thinks you should enter the Flight of the Conchords lip dub contest...I don't disagree with her (Buzzfeed).

*Request a beta invite from this v. cool new website Daytum (isn't it gorge??) that let's you make all sorts of pretty charts-n-graphs and such (like the one I made above) (Daytum).

*Get lit at the new wine bar on 7th Ave and 12th Street: Brookvin (Brownstoner).

FIPS Official Christmas Gift Guide

Well, Christmas is almost upon us.

Gives me such a fucking rush to say that - my mom tortured us as kids - never let us celebrate Christmas at all. December 25th was a melancholy day in our jewish household, where every year my mom would keep us home and make us just sit around pensively. Finally, as the yearly tradition went, my mom would stand up and sigh: Well children, today's the day you know you're jewish.

Fuck her: Christmas is here! I love celebrating Christmas with my little Jewish kids. They LOVE Christmas because they're normal American kids, and they like lights and candy and trees and shit. AND as an added bonus it pisses my mom off.

Anyway, welcome to the Christmas Season 2008 - Layoffs, unemployment, and poverty abound. In this barren economic climate, it's important that the little ones in your life get the most out of your hard earned dollar. Check out these awesome gift ideas for the little goyasha children in your life.

"It's Time To Stop Being Polite, And To Start Getting REAL"

In case you're one of those weird people who live down in the subway tunnels and don't have access to inane pop culture news (or a proper Tivo/Flatscreen set-up), you should know that MTV's 21st season of the Real World (debuting Jan. 9th) is going down in BK.

We don't know much about these seven eight strangers picked to live in a loft shanty on the Hudson River in Red Hook, but, though I can't say fer sure, I'm guessing I'm gonna hate the shit outta all of em'.

Pretty please watch the vid above so that we can hate 2 gether.

Jared Wieselman from the Daily News thinks these mofos are "all kinda awesome." Here's what I think:

*Devyn - "The Real World is drama and I don't like drama." I will bet you 700 billion dollarz that this bitch throws down more dramz than ANYONE else in the house....including the Tranny.

*Sarah - "There is no way I'm gonna get along with any of the girls in this house." She will cry. A lot.

*Ryan - "What girlfriend wants her boyfriend to go on the Real World." Code Red: Annoying fucking GF alert.

*Katelynn - This is the tranny...and "she" is the only one I'm keeping in the "potentially interesting" category for now.

*J.D. - "As soon as I stepped into the gates, I knew that people were gonna be different...that people were gonna have stories to tell." I don't even know what to say to that.

*Chet - "I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't have sex..." By the end of the season he will have either have: A. Supaman'd dat ho; B. Be on next season's coming attractions for Celebrity Rehab; C. Come out of the closet

*Scott - "First words said to me were 'wow, there's a better looking guy in the house than me.'" Not sure who the fuck said that to him, but J.D, Chet, Katelynn, shit...even the Daily News dude is better looking than this guy, so crack rocks have obvs been smoked.

*Baya - "I need people to relate to." Translation: I have no self worth, so I fuck people to make myself feel wanted and to fill the gaping hole where my self-esteem once was.

Ok, these are just early predictions, peeple, so I reserve the right to see what goes down come Jan. Needless to say, I'm not picking up the "awesome" vibe that the Daily News was frontin' with.

Further reading about the crazy eights:
Finally Someone Gets Inside the Real World: Brooklyn Fortress (Jossip)
Real World: Brooklyn House: Headache-y (Daily Intel)
Meet the Real World Brooklynites (Gothamist)
Real World: Brooklyn; Meet the Roommates and tour their digs (Urbanite)
The Real World Blogger Drama (Buzzfeed)
Real World Brooklyn People Say Red Hook Kinda Sucks (Curbed)
Real World: Brooklyn Kids Don't Plan on Leaving NY Ever (Gawker)
A Peek Behind the STD Soaked Curtains (Free Williamsburg)
Unreal world! Our critic gets a peek at MTV's Brooklyn reality TV Show (Brooklyn Paper)
Real World: Brooklyn Cast Hopes NYC Won't Hate Them (ed note: HAAA!) (Newsday)
The Real World: Brooklyn Trailer (MTV Reality World)