"It's Time To Stop Being Polite, And To Start Getting REAL"

In case you're one of those weird people who live down in the subway tunnels and don't have access to inane pop culture news (or a proper Tivo/Flatscreen set-up), you should know that MTV's 21st season of the Real World (debuting Jan. 9th) is going down in BK.

We don't know much about these seven eight strangers picked to live in a loft shanty on the Hudson River in Red Hook, but, though I can't say fer sure, I'm guessing I'm gonna hate the shit outta all of em'.

Pretty please watch the vid above so that we can hate 2 gether.

Jared Wieselman from the Daily News thinks these mofos are "all kinda awesome." Here's what I think:

*Devyn - "The Real World is drama and I don't like drama." I will bet you 700 billion dollarz that this bitch throws down more dramz than ANYONE else in the house....including the Tranny.

*Sarah - "There is no way I'm gonna get along with any of the girls in this house." She will cry. A lot.

*Ryan - "What girlfriend wants her boyfriend to go on the Real World." Code Red: Annoying fucking GF alert.

*Katelynn - This is the tranny...and "she" is the only one I'm keeping in the "potentially interesting" category for now.

*J.D. - "As soon as I stepped into the gates, I knew that people were gonna be different...that people were gonna have stories to tell." I don't even know what to say to that.

*Chet - "I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't have sex..." By the end of the season he will have either have: A. Supaman'd dat ho; B. Be on next season's coming attractions for Celebrity Rehab; C. Come out of the closet

*Scott - "First words said to me were 'wow, there's a better looking guy in the house than me.'" Not sure who the fuck said that to him, but J.D, Chet, Katelynn, shit...even the Daily News dude is better looking than this guy, so crack rocks have obvs been smoked.

*Baya - "I need people to relate to." Translation: I have no self worth, so I fuck people to make myself feel wanted and to fill the gaping hole where my self-esteem once was.

Ok, these are just early predictions, peeple, so I reserve the right to see what goes down come Jan. Needless to say, I'm not picking up the "awesome" vibe that the Daily News was frontin' with.

Further reading about the crazy eights:
Finally Someone Gets Inside the Real World: Brooklyn Fortress (Jossip)
Real World: Brooklyn House: Headache-y (Daily Intel)
Meet the Real World Brooklynites (Gothamist)
Real World: Brooklyn; Meet the Roommates and tour their digs (Urbanite)
The Real World Blogger Drama (Buzzfeed)
Real World Brooklyn People Say Red Hook Kinda Sucks (Curbed)
Real World: Brooklyn Kids Don't Plan on Leaving NY Ever (Gawker)
A Peek Behind the STD Soaked Curtains (Free Williamsburg)
Unreal world! Our critic gets a peek at MTV's Brooklyn reality TV Show (Brooklyn Paper)
Real World: Brooklyn Cast Hopes NYC Won't Hate Them (ed note: HAAA!) (Newsday)
The Real World: Brooklyn Trailer (MTV Reality World)

Comments

[David]

My skin crawls as I type this.

One correction - regarding the ""What girlfriend wants her boyfriend to go on the Real World?" comment, it was actually:
"A lot of them (Chet)." "A lot." (Ryan)
So Chaste Chet (first, fuckers!) has a lot of girlfriends? Perhaps his hair has magical sexual powers over women. Or maybe they're girl friends. Or "girlfriends."
And Ryan? Well, maybe he has a lot of girlfriends. Kids these days.

[Danny]

@David, five on it says Chet and Ryan have a secret and I think a closet is involved.

I've managed to avoid having single run in with this train wreck of shit show while they were filming. Although that might be because the good business owning folks of Carroll Gardens banned their asses

[Erica]

@David: Ok, fine, but that moment struck me like those two were playing for the camera a bit. I felt the REAL truth was in the "What girlfriend..." line and then the dudes were just trying to be cute slash funny slash playa-like.

My guess is: Ryan has a skinny, blondie, head cheerleader GF; she will be calling a LOT; she will be needy and will always be concerned Ryan is cheating; she will visit (once) and on said visit they will "run into" another girl that Ryan has fucked (though he'll tell blondie GF cheerleader that they've only kissed); fight will ensue; Ryan will be desperate to make it work, but ultimately they will break up; Ryan will then be free to join one of Extreme Challenge casts and bang former Real Worlders from seasons past.

fini.

[Arock]

This is in-fucking-sane... Watching this just killed more brain cells than Saturday night's bar hopping.

Wha?Why? Bleed me...

I hope/pray Brooklyn becomes the end of this shit-show train wreck; fortunately, something tells me they wont be spending a lot of time in Brooklyn (Park Slope), they wouldn't know any better.