FIPS Official Christmas Gift Guide
Benjamin | Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 4:58PM 
Well, Christmas is almost upon us.
Gives me such a fucking rush to say that - my mom tortured us as kids - never let us celebrate Christmas at all. December 25th was a melancholy day in our jewish household, where every year my mom would keep us home and make us just sit around pensively. Finally, as the yearly tradition went, my mom would stand up and sigh: Well children, today's the day you know you're jewish.
Fuck her: Christmas is here! I love celebrating Christmas with my little Jewish kids. They LOVE Christmas because they're normal American kids, and they like lights and candy and trees and shit. AND as an added bonus it pisses my mom off.
Anyway, welcome to the Christmas Season 2008 - Layoffs, unemployment, and poverty abound. In this barren economic climate, it's important that the little ones in your life get the most out of your hard earned dollar. Check out these awesome gift ideas for the little goyasha children in your life.
jews 
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Reader Comments (4)
Yeah leave it to parents to emphasize your difference while reinforcing it.
Of course your mother's pissed. She probably gave them a dredle and they probably looked at it and said "what the fuck is this medieval contraption, thank god we celebrate Christmas and get real presents like other kids". It probably broke her poor heart. You should have your kids call their grandmother on Christmas day and say "Grandma, daddy says you'll never join us in eternal paradise, why won't you accept the lord as your savior?". It'll be a hoot.
I've got to say, this sounds more than familliar. IT's the end of Judiasm as we know it. Christmas rules.
Benny,
"Fuck Her: Christmas is here!"
sounded a lot, to me, like a dying Mel Gibson screaming "Freedom". Well done man.
I don't know man, Christmas time makes me appreciate being Jewish in an extra special way. I love sitting back with my latke while the goyim all go to the mall. They're happy, I'm happy they're hapy and I get a day off from work to kick back and be exempt from all that's going on around me. It's like a vacation from popular culture that's just for me and my Muslim friends.