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Friday
Jan022009

Park Slope Stroller Valet: Worst of '08?


In an article entitled "The Good and the Bad of 2008," The NYT City Room Blog offers up this little Park Slope gem: Outlandish valet parking proposal, already in effect: The stroller valet at the Prospect Park Y.M.C.A. in Park Slope.

Though they don't call it out specifically, we assume this one goes squarely in their "bad" column.

Ok, fair enough.

The idea is, admittedly, vomit inducing in a "yougottabefuckingkidingme," yuppie bullshit sort of a way.

BUT.

If you're really looking at the idea from an ingenuity POV, it's also kind of brilliant (and this is coming from the bitch who wrote the Tea Lounge Survival Guide for the Babyless).

I mean: someONE at the YMCA recognized and identified a problem (big SUV strollers all over the fucking place, blocking people's paths, annoying BALLERS and gettin' in the way) and then sort of reverse engineered a solution: convincing their sweet janitor to go stand out on the street and "watch" the strollers for all the pre-natal yoga MILFS (he doesn't even take tips! WTF??).

Anyway.

I for one applaud the effort. And sincerely hope that it spurs on the development of other creative solutions in the nabe (like a doggy valet at La Bagel Delight, for instance?).

So, yeah...piss off New York Times.

Friday
Jan022009

Nomination For New FIPS Tagline?

From Brooklynian: I DO love Slopers hatin' on Slopers....that's...that's just AMERICAN is what it is! I tell ya!

Right on, Whatchuwant.

Thursday
Jan012009

Manufacturers of New Years Eve Novelty Glasses Lament Close of Golden Era


I tell ya, these guys had it good.

From 2000 to 2009, they had two big ol' holes right in the middle there. What the hell are they supposed to do now? This recession takes no prisoners.

Happy New Year!

Wednesday
Dec312008

WARNING: The Tale of Despereaux is Absolutely Fucking Terrifying


Just got back from taking my 5 year old daughter to see The Tale of Desperaux at the Pavillion; Holy Fucking Shit – I need a drink and we both need counseling!

It was rated G of course, but I think The Motion Picture Association of America's Rating System must be staffed by psychotic fundamentalist Christians:

ANY movie that is animated seems to automatically be rated G, while any movie that mentions friggin evolution gets a PG-13.

Please someone make an animated movie about bong hits and teen sex so I can see what they rate it. Oh, wait.

Regardless, The Tale of Despereaux featured:

  • Choking Death
  • Wailing Mothers watching their children be led to execution
  • Daughter sold into slavery
  • Gladiator-style death
  • Fully-grown hot blonde animated human female tied down to be eaten by rats in horrifying ceremony.
  • Manic depression
  • Scary fuckin bad guys

Fuck that shit!

Believe me, I saw Faces of Death 10 times when I was fifteen – I'm all for horror – but don't make the goddamn trailer make the movie look like Ratatouille II and give the shit a G rating.

Thanks a lot you fucktards - now I gotta sit up till 11pm with my terrified kid, readin' her Eloise. Can't even get laid on New Years Fuckin Eve??

Avoid.

Wednesday
Dec312008

FIPS ToDo's


*Have a happy fucking New Year! (Brooklyn Based)