Death By R Train: Anyone Got the Scoop?

News 12 reports that a man was hit and killed on the Bay Ridge-bound R tracks at Union Street on Monday morning.  A FIPS reader tipped us off after her commute from hell, and wants to know if anyone has any details:

I was waiting at the 9th St stop trying to get to work in Bay Ridge, got to the platform around 8:35 yesterday. And waiting. AND WAITING! At 9:50 (there's usually a train every 5 mins so it was clear something was really wrong) there was an announcement that the Bay Ridge bound R train would be running express from Pacific St to 36th St due to problems at the Union St station and there would be no fucking R train coming to pick up the very large crowd of people that had accrued until further notice. I had to get a car service to get to work and was still late grumble. My co-worker came in at 11:00am and said her R train from DeKalb was still running express from Pacific to 36th and they had told her it was a police investigation. I searched the internet hardcore today to find out what the deal was and all I could find was one measly 20 second news clip from a Long Island station that just said a man was hit and killed by the R at Union St. Anyone in the FIPS world know more info??

Know anything?  Comment, SVP.

[BITCH-SPIRATION] How to Be A Better, Stronger, Faster Subway Douche

For anyone looking to step-up their subway douchery, I put together a nice round-up over at Design Blahg.

Check IT.

Go Busk Yourself

Listen up, Park Slope: it's bad enough that everyone thinks we're elitist douchebags with our expensive apartments, stroller mafia, celebrity residents, and "best neighborhood in new york" bragging rights. The least we could do to keep people off our backs is show a little bit of humility when it comes to our subway buskers. But nooooo...we don't have any disgusting, toothless, barefoot homeless guys strumming a guitar, or trios of doo-wop singers who haven't bathed in weeks...or even some crazy person dressed up in an Elmo costume playing the accordion. Nope, Park Slope gets this guy above.

That's Right. Some well-to-do motherfucker playing the glockenspiel. 

Click to read more ...

THANK GOD: A NEW SUBWAY MAP

The New York Times is reporting that the MTA will unveil a new map next month, the first in over a decade.  On the long list of things the MTA needs to do to prevent the angry citizenry from firebombing it, I doubt a slightly redesigned map makes an appearance.  How about you get a hold of the track fires before you focus your attention on making the maps more vibrant and colorful?

But, oh man, do I love that new cerulean blue water!  It calls to mind the Carribbean more than any dirty waterway around here, which I guess will help to make all of the Jamaican conductors feel more at home (racist?).

Ev'ry ting's irie, mon!

This Weekend: The F Takes Its Hatred for Me Out on You

Curious, you don't look much like a train to me.

Because I've somehow become the default bearer of F train (bad/gross/sexy/mostly gross) news, here's a HAPPY FUCKING FRIDAY announcement for you.

Tonight at 11:30 through the rest of the weekend, we're back to shuttle busses between Jay Street and Church Ave.  Transportation alternatives include Bugaboos, go-karts and dimensional teleportation.  I'll be too busy picking out the perfect shade of lilac for my bathroom walls and working on the teeny-weeny particle accelerator project I have going on in my garden to leave Brooklyn anyway, but I figured the rest of you might want a heads up.

I realize this affects the G train, too.  But since the G train is a mere figment of our collective imaginations, this is all of the acknowledgement it will get (also considering "You're still screwed" is no news, anyway).