'The Next Station Stop Is Grand Army Plaaaaaz-UH"

image via wallyg on FlickrI've been riding the 2/3 train several times a week for more than three years now, and somehow, I've never noticed that the chick whose recorded voice makes the announcements pronounces "plah-zuh" as "PLAAAZ-uh." It sounds like she's saying "plasma" without the "m."

Am I the only one who finds this very fucking weird??

I mean, I'm not one of those douchebags who actually says shit like "meh-i-co" for Mexico, but isn't plaza generally pronounced with a soft "ah"?

Here's what I'm talkin about...Fast Forward to about 7:55 (NOTE THIS WHOLE VIDEO IS STUPID AND BORING AND IF YOU WATCH IT ALL YOU WILL BE ANGRY AT ME LIKE THE COMMENTERS BELOW WHO DIDN'T FOLLOW DIRECTIONS):

Your Disappearing F/G Train: Despair, Postponed!

On Monday, I brought you, kind patrons of the 15th St-Prospect Park station, the unfortunate news that your train service was about to be majorly fucked up for the next year-plus. We laughed! (Not really. Or at all.) We cried! We wanted to hurl things at the MTA/complaining yuppies, depending which side you were on! Today I come with a ray of hope--OK, a week of stalled despair.

Anarchy was supposed to start Monday, but because of possible snow this weekend, they're being pushed off until the following Monday, January 17th. So, we've got allegedly normal service this weekend, then shuttle busses next weekend, then the no service shit next Monday. Got it? K.

Also from WNYC, here's why, according to an NYC Transit spokesman, why you peeps didn't know jack about this in advance:

"We have found that if you put it up too early, people lose sight of it," Seaton said. "It's better to keep it fresh in people’s minds." That is also why, he said, there was no advance notice of the work on the agency's website under "planned service changes" for the F and G. Still, he didn't know why signs hadn't appeared only days before a major phase of the four-year project. Signs to announce the latest disruption will go up at the stations and in subway cars by this Saturday. He said there should also be "public announcements in the system."

So, he doesn't know. Cool. Anyway, I'm sick of talking about trains and the cold. I'm going to move to Dubai and buy a fucking Mercedes or something. In other news, here's an F train sushi thing to distract you.

Photo: Face Food

Blogger To Outraged Prospect Park/15th St F/G Train Riders: STFU

Ok, so perhaps Benjamin Kabak from 2nd Ave Sagas didn't say that *exactly,* however his recent post A Tale of A Viaduct, A Sign And The Need To Pay Attention sends a pretty clear message, and that message seems to be:

• stop your bitching
• get a clue
• you're stupid if you didn't know this work was going to be happening

And by "this work," of course, I mean the news that the Prospect Park -15th St F/G station will not be offering any Manhattan bound subway service until May, beginning next Monday, January 10th. Like AT ALL.

Apparently all y'all should have been attending Community Board meetings, deciphering cryptic messages on the MTA site and doing way the hell more research than you've been doing because, DUH EVERYONE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN! TRANSLATION: WE'RE ALL SO STOOPID.

Click to read more ...

I Survived The Blizzard, And All I Got Was A Stinkin' MTA Fare Hike?

Yep, folks...it's that time again.

Even though you can barely march your ass through our non-plowed BK streets to even get to the subway, and once you get there who knows if the train will even be running, but STILL! IT'S TIME FOR A FARE HIKE!

As of Thursday, December 30, 2010:

• your monthly metro card will jump from $89 to $104 (a 17% increase)
• weekly 7 day passes will jump from $27 to $29
• single rides will jump from $2.25 to $2.50

Congrats to everyone! And by everyone I mean the MTA! Cause the rest of us are fucked!

(via Gothamist)

COOL OR NOT COOL: Subway Track Leaners?

Are you a subway track leaner??

You know, one of those totally annoying people who's constantly leaning over the track, risking death just to see if you can spot that tiny light of the oncoming subway train allllll the way down the track before it pulls into the station??

CAUSE YOU PPL ANNOY THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME.

Espesh the leaners that come up real close to you and like to lean out right the fuck next to you...like if they're going down, you're going down with em.

NEWSFLASH: I'M STANDING BACK BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FALL ON TO THE MOTHERFUCKING SUBWAY TRACKS, YOU DOUCHEBAG. You should do the same. Unless you wanna get your skin ripped off. OR DIE.

I vote "not cool" times a million billion.

You?