Go Busk Yourself

Listen up, Park Slope: it's bad enough that everyone thinks we're elitist douchebags with our expensive apartments, stroller mafia, celebrity residents, and "best neighborhood in new york" bragging rights. The least we could do to keep people off our backs is show a little bit of humility when it comes to our subway buskers. But nooooo...we don't have any disgusting, toothless, barefoot homeless guys strumming a guitar, or trios of doo-wop singers who haven't bathed in weeks...or even some crazy person dressed up in an Elmo costume playing the accordion. Nope, Park Slope gets this guy above.

That's Right. Some well-to-do motherfucker playing the glockenspiel. 

This dickwad was serenading us Monday morning on at the 7th Avenue F stop (sorry for the blurry picture, but I was laughing too hard to get a clear shot). There's nothing more fucking annoying that hearing high-pitched bells while you are waiting for a fucking F train. Oh, and the song he was playing? Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly." How apropos. 

PS, look at all that money he has. That's more money I've ever seen in a busker's bin. You don't see that shit at West 4th. Heck, that's more money than I've ever seen anyone give the homeless lady who sits in the southwest exit tunnel of the 9th Street station. Or is that a man? I don't know...I never pay attention to homeless people.

And just when I thought glockenspiel douche was an exception to the rule, I come up the stairs Wednesday night, once again at the 7th Avenue F stop, to hear a fucking chamber orchestra finishing a song to a round of moronic applause. Take a look at these two assholes:

What the crap? This needs to stop...immediately. Who the hell are these people? 20-something privileged fucks, with their goddamn violins and their smug music stand. And look how much money they have too! That shit is over-flowing. They should get together with glockenspiel boy and start some kind of broke ass 7th Ave F train buskers philharmonic.

Anyway, go fuck yourself, Park Slope. I can't defend your asses anymore. 

Comments

[duuuude]

No one thinks Slopeheads are elitist except other tragically pathetic Slopeheads. No, elitists live on the upper east side of Manhattan and have summer homes in the Hamptons. Slopeheads are just pedestrian, self-absorbed douchebags. Thanks !