A FiPS Round-Up of The Best Thing-a-ma-jigs To Haul Your Baby Around In
Jessica | Tuesday, December 4, 2012 at 12:01PM 
Photo via www.lostateminor.com
Given the task to find and present the top 5 strollers for you baby wheeling bastards (Damn it, Kerri!), I have learned several things:
- Baby stroller names are ridiculously long and complicated
- These things are pretty damn expensive
- I could totally be a Professional Baby Stroller Namer
Here’s the thing, guys. I know virtually nothing about strollers. I did, however, read a shit ton of stroller reviews that were presumably written by people who own both babies and things with which to carry them around in. Based on my research, here are Amazon's top 5 most popular baby street haulers (in no particular order):
5. Graco UrbanLite Stroller ($136)
DESCRIPTION: “Lightweight travel never looked so good. The Graco Urban Lite stroller accepts any top-rated Graco infant car seat to create your own travel system. The stroller, which weighs less than 20 pounds, holds your child up to 50 pounds for years of use.”
WHAT I WOULD’VE NAMED IT: Mehmeh Mehmehmeh 2
WHAT USERS ARE SAYING:
“Easy to push and steer.”
“It’s a good looking stroller and functional, too.”
“It pushes really well…you won't know you’re pushing it.”
WHY I THINK YOU'LL LOVE IT: There’s a big-ass basket underneath to hold you AND your baby’s stuff. Also, it has cup holders; everything is better with cup holders.
WHY I THINK YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY HATE IT: It flings babies into the street randomly. Just kiddinggggg.
4. BOB Revolution SE Single Stroller ($360)
DESCRIPTION: “Designed with a pivoting front wheel and a lightweight frame, the BOB Revolution SE Stroller offers a smooth ride and is ideal for everyday activities and not-so-everyday adventures. The easy-to-fold frame and suspension system provide convenience and comfort that both you and your baby will appreciate. And the stroller is packed with extra features like a reclining seat and a adjustable, multi-position canopy.”
WHAT I WOULD’VE NAMED IT: Jean-Claude Van Rambo Shiv
WHAT USERS ARE SAYING:
“BOB saved my son’s life. Really.”
“This has become our all-purpose stroller – it’s great for runs, neighborhood walks or shopping trips at the mall.”
“We fondly refer to it as the Urban Assault Vehicle.” (This was a 5 star review BTW)
WHY I THINK YOU'LL LOVE IT: Uh, it crushes Chevy Cavaliers like childhood dreams.
WHY I THINK YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY HATE IT: Lots of people say it’s heavy, so if you want something lighter for everyday use its probably not what you’re looking for.
3. Bumbleride Flite Lightweight Compact Travel Stroller ($235)
DESCRIPTION: “Flite is everything you love about Bumbleride in a small package. Blending all the style, comfort and safety features found in our other models; Flite travels light and complete. Its unique shape folds ultra-slim to be easily stowed in the tightest of spaces. Bumbleride Flite allows you to go where you want without sacrificing the functionality that you need.”
WHAT I WOULD’VE NAMED IT: Boomshakalaka SkinnyPro-BabaJuJu
WHAT USERS ARE SAYING:
“It folds so easily. It was easy enough to explain to the grandparents in one go,” and “Good for tall people.”
“It can accommodate the smallest of infants.”
“I consider BumbleRide the Apple (iPad, iPod, iPhone) of strollers.”
WHY I THINK YOU'LL LOVE IT: Light and compact. Also, the product description is reminscent of that travel vibrator you bought to get you through long business trips [Editor's Note: to me it read more like a tampon commercial.]
WHY I THINK YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY HATE IT: It has been described as having both a “puny basket” and “sad cup holder." Those seem like pretty good reasons to me.
2. Britax B-Agile Stroller ($180)
DESCRIPTION: “The compact BRITAX B-AGILE Stroller includes a multitude of features that provide safety and comfort for your child--and convenience for you. Its one-handed folding design allows you to pack the stroller in seconds. The supportive seat features a five-point harness system that is both comfortable and secure. The B-AGILE adjusts to accommodate children even as they grow bigger. This stroller includes an extra-large canopy, comfort-ride suspension, and ample storage space.”
WHAT I WOULD’VE NAMED IT: Excalibur Transformatron 3000
WHAT USERS ARE SAYING:
“This stroller ROCKS MY WORLD!”
“Easy to steer (even one handed).”
“It wouldn't have hurt my feelings if a cup holder was included.”
WHY I THINK YOU'LL LOVE IT: You can fold it -- one-handed -- within seconds. How many things can you do, with one hand mind you, in just seconds? Very little. The answer is, very little. I would have also accepted “bitch slap”.
WHY I THINK YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY HATE IT: Several people have reported that the harness buckle is really hard to undo (nail-breaking hard).
1. Maclaren Techno XT Stroller ($250)
DESCRIPTION: “The Maclaren Techno XT Stroller Frame combines superior comfort and performance with sporty style. The Techno XT has lockable front swivel wheels with reflective hubcaps, front and rear wheel suspension, and height adjustable ergonomically designed satin finish handles.”
WHAT I WOULD’VE NAMED IT: Best #%&*@% Mother #$%@ Stroller
WHAT USERS ARE SAYING:
“Well worth the price.”
“If you want a stroller for mega-shopping, look elsewhere. But if you want an amazing, small, and lightweight stroller - this is it!”
“It is always a smooth ride.”
WHY I THINK YOU'LL LOVE IT: It's described as having reflective hubcaps; that probably means you can put some sick spinning rims on it.
WHY I THINK YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY HATE IT: If you try and hang ANYTHING off of this stroller, it'll probably implode on itself.
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