My Shoemaker is More Awesome Than Your Labradoodle

photo: via Brooklynometry (they sell this shit there!)

At FIPS, we like to mock shit. 

I mean, whatever, it's Slope, so it's kinda easy, y'know?  But just because we hate you and your stroller in our favorite bar, doesn't mean we don't totes love our unsung neighborhood heroes.

Click to read more ...

School Pictures That Don't Make You Want To Vomit

photo: Stomping Ground

I swear, EVERY single school picture of me that was ever taken is cringe-worthy--from elementary school all the way up to HS. Like, you know when shit is so bad, you're even embarrassed to show it to people during one of those totally casual "show me your WORST, most hilarious photos" ever moments? And the person you're with maybe even crosses their heart and hopes to die promises that they won't laugh at you, but you don't believe them for one red hot second cause you know what's gonna go down? Yeah, well I do...cause my shit is that bad to the bone.

Anyway.

Stomping Ground seems like a perfect way to ensure that your child doesn't experience the same traumatic and painful memories that I have twenty years from now when they're showing some hot date they brought home their cringe-worthy school photos. "Reinventing the school photo" is their tagline, and I gotta tell ya, from what I've seen clicking around their site, they totally have.

Click to read more ...

REVIEW: Eric The Handyman

So, surprise, surprise: neither Greg or I are handy. Like, not at ALL.

We bought our closets at Ikea and paid someone to come and put all that shit together. I don't know what a "phillips head" screwdriver looks like, and could not tell you the difference between caulk or grout if my life depended upon it.

So, as we had a bunch of crap around our apartment that needed to be taken care of, we were recently in need of a handyperson...and we called Eric Rochow. Well, actually we Tweeted him (yep, he's just that cool people: @ericgardenfork).

He came by for the second time last week and: HOLY.SHIT. This dude can literally do A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

Click to read more ...

REVIEW: Salon Harmony

I got my hair cut this weekend for the second time at Salon Harmony...and I officially like the place (also that is SO not me in the pic).

Salon Harmony doesn't have a website...or any photos when you do a google image search.  This is either a carefully orchestrated attempt at exclusivity OR the owner's anti web 2.0 (read: don't know how to use a computer) stance.  It's an interesting approach...espesh since when I got there midday on Saturday, the place was pretty darn packed.

Click to read more ...

Post-Holiday Clearance Sale: Park Slope MILF Handjobs Starting as Low as $199.99

Today's the day I become a Serious Journalist.

I realize that up until this moment, my Reporter Qualifications consist of posting ripoffs of TheOnion to a snarky, smug, crappy little website.

Today's the day that changes.

Click to read more ...