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Entries in safety (106)

Wednesday
Nov112009

BREAKING: This Maclaren Stroller Shit Is The Biggest Thing To Hit Park Slope Since That Plane Crashed Here

Via the NYT City Room Blog:

"There are two major health threats in Park Slope at the moment, if you believe some of the neighborhood’s innumerable young and hyper-conscientious parents."

Wait for it...annnnd: "There’s swine flu and Maclaren strollers.” 

BOOM.

There it is, people.

Wow. Well I for one sincerely hope that we can all get through this tragic Maclaren stroller crisis together.

We will be posting info about any and all Park Slope parents stroller prayer circles (PSPSPC) as we get it, b/c as you all know, FIPS CARES.

Wednesday
Nov112009

Who Gives a Shit: Are We All Gonna Get Stabbed by Roving Gangs?

So, some concerned citizen/neighborhood watch member/paranoid old crank is going around posting notes on the doors of apartment buildings along Prospect Park West, warning people about the increased activity of roving gangs in the area by the park.

I wish I had saved the note, or taken a picture of it with my shitty iPhone camera even though it would be unreadable anyway, but it basically said:

1. Teen hoodlums are coming to get you
2. Srsly, someone got stabbed
3. Call 911 and remain alert

Click to read more ...

Monday
Nov092009

ATTN BREEDERS: YOUR MACLAREN STROLLER *MIGHT* *Allegedly* KILL YOUR BEBE (OR, OK FINE: MAIM)

OH SHIT.

The stroller brigade is now *truly* Fucked in Park Slope: Maclaren is getting ready to announce a massive recall of over 1 million of its strollers (dating back to 1999), due to the fact that a hinge seems to be chopping off little kiddos fingertips. Oopsie!

According to the Daily News's source: "Parents should stop using these strollers right away," the source said.

Ok, true ONLY 12 children have had their fingers chopped off so far, but do you want to be lucky number 13??

I cannot imagine what the Park Slope Parents board looks like right about now. Cause based on my unoffish survey, (i.e. noticing stroller brand as I'm "accidentally" clipped while walking down the street), 9.9 outta 10 parents in Park Slope seem to be rockin a Maclaren.

Anyway.

Here's the scoop from Maclaren on how you can obtain the hinge covers so your kids can keep all 10 of their fingers.

FIPS CARES! (about your bebes!).

(tip via ShotZombies)

Tuesday
Oct272009

Blognigger Doesn't Like The Court Street Movie Theater Either

Ok, so this little gem was dropped into the comments of my original I Will Never Go Back to Court Street Movie Theater post, but I thought it was worth highlighting becuase, duh, it's BN.

Here's what the OG Brooklyn blogger had to say:

Attention White People:

(I can safely address you this way, since stuck-up White MFA
candidates from the University of Iowa and analogue institutions are the only folks remaining who would call Erica's Court Street Theater post "RACIST")

Attention White People:

I'm delighted to inform you that if you've declared Erica a RACIST based on the description of her Court Street Theater experience, you've just fallen into one of the oldest traps in the book.

Yep, I gotcha like Tawana Brawley's mother on a polygraph: the only person guilty of "racism" in this situation is YOU.

See, you have associated the people who brought a baby to a late night movie, screamed, and threatened violence... with Black people.

Erica must be afraid of black people, because she's afraid of these psychopaths -- and according to you, these psychopaths = black people.

Think Erica is afraid of me or my kids or the president of the Unites States? Ok so, she's NOT afraid of black people now?

Look: We all know that the only ones who would act this way at a late night Court Street movie theater are black. But to say that all black people would behave this way at a movie theater is racist- and that's the logical result of your assertion that Erica's fear of these people equates to a fear or dislike of black people.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't be caught DEAD at Court Street cinema at night because I got a family and I don't want to risk getting shot in a cross fire by niggers.

This is Brooklyn, and that's their turf.

I wouldn't be caught dead at the Puerto Rican day parade, because violence happens there, and I don't want to risk getting stomped by Puerto Rican niggers.

That's their turf.

I wouldn't be caught dead at some rodeo NASCAR redneck bullfight-ass cowboy shit because those white people get violent when they see blacks and Jews, and I'm both. I got a family and I don't want to risk getting lynched by white niggers.

That's their turf.

Attention White People: Niggers come in all colors; America enjoys a rainbow of niggerhood.

Don't front like you're not scared of niggers - it makes you sound stupid.

But yo - when you say all black people are niggers?

Damn, Ms Brawley; you're just being racist.


[for more information, please see: Williamsburg bar NO BLACKS ALLOWED]

Saturday
Oct242009

I Will Never Go To The Court Street Movie Theater Again

I just returned from the 6:05pm showing of Paranormal Activity at the UA Court Street Stadium 12 movie theater...and I've never been so scared in my entire life.

And though Paranormal Activity was rad, and totally freaky, and a must-see, the fact that I was so insanely scared out of my mind had fuck all to do with the movie, and everything to do with the people in the movie theater.

Click to read more ...