TOTAL MIND FUCK: BROOKLYN THEMED BAR OPENS IN MANHATTAN

photo: Joshua Bright for the NYTIgnore the attempted subway suicides, hop on the train and get your ass into Manhattan. There lies quaint “local” bar The Brooklyneer, full of plentiful goods from our wonderful nabe: Boerum Hill made ricotta, Carroll Gardens canned jam, and Greenpoint Kombucha.

When you’re done vomiting from the thought of Greenpoint-brewed fungi, give a blowjob to the Urban Farmers in your life, because without them the Brooklyneer wouldn’t serve Park Slope’s finest asphyxiated geese plated up with some adorable pickles.

OMG! This bar reminds me of this other bar I know where you can drink tons of beer from the Brooklyn Brewery! it's called the Brooklyn Brewery. Located in fucking Brooklyn.

Apparently, a “Brooklyneer” is someone who admires Brooklyn. I guess not enough to actually live here.

FUCKWADS.

(via NYT)

Q: Which is Dirtier: the Tea Lounge Bathroom or the Shopping Baskets At Key Food?

photo: Adrian KinlochAccording to this FIPS reader, it's the shopping carts at Key Food:

"Key Food on 7th and Carroll is a good to find a medium bag of ripple chips for $1, a 6-pack of Rolling Rock at half the price of Lowenbrau and the checkers are nice. But did you ever notice how filthy the plastic shopping baskets are? Well they're not just filthy, they're disgusting...and probably infectious. Are those things EVER cleaned?"

Gotta say, I have noticed that those mofos are pretty friggin dirty. But since I mostly do Fresh Direct, I ain't really sweatin it. It is kind of bizarro though...that Key Food is like the creme de la creme of Key Foods everywhere, so wtf is up with the dirty baskets??

You guyz ever notice this?

Park Slope Food Coop Walkers: Awkward Conversations 101

Should I be giving a holiday tip to my Food Coop walker dude(tte) this season, you think?

'Cause even you hardened haters have got to admit that the Food Coop's little home delivery service is not too shabby (btw, I can't seem to stop singing the Chanukkah Song). Anyway, I want to personally thank the Food Coop for not leaving me with my broken down shopping cart and letting me borrow theirs.

It's one of the few benefits of living in the belly of the beast: a privilege for those who live in a five block radius (or is it 10?). Anyway, you're fucked if you live in Crown Heights.

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ASS HOLE I COULDN'T FIND PAPER

Spotted at Seventh Avenue and 6th Street at the ungodly hour of 7:12 this morning. HAPPY FRIDAY, ASS HOLES.

 

Um.

Peen At The Tot Lot

Start em early folks...start em E-A-R-L-Y.

(via Princess Party Amazing)