ALL ABOARD THE HIPSTER EXPRESS

If you've ever taken the Megabus, you know that those jerks just LOVE to take the most retarded route possible.  Times Square at 5pm on a Friday night?  SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.  You want to be pissed off, but you can't be, because you know that a round-trip ticket to DC costs less than a one-way cab ride from Midtown to Park Slope.  You're all like, "CURSE YOU, MEGABUS.  THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!"

Ohhhhhhh damn, THERE IS. 

Its official name is the KnowItExpress, but its been dubbed the "Hipster Express"—leaving from DC and dropping off on Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn for $40 round-trip.  According this incredibly lame account, it seems like just your standard bus service.  

I think we all know that the REAL hipster express (the G train?) would drop off on Bedford Avenue.  AMIRIGHT?  

LET'S GET FAT!

You know, the times they are a-changin! When I started this lil ole blog, I feel like it was day after day of restaurant closing news. And now? OPENINGS, OPENINGS, O-P-E-N-I-N-G-S! Shit, we practically need our own food editor (HINT, HINT).

So let's get to it!

* Looks like someone took our advice! (from way back when when we were all bitching about the sorts of businesses we'd like to see in Park Slope). A cupcake shop is coming! If this King of Cupcakes place doesn't have a room in the back for kid's parties, they are missing out on a Rockefeller level of cash money.

* Playa is now Comida. Good luck not failing within 6 mos, Comida! (via @jaimemorelli)

* An Italian Espresso Bar is coming to 7th Ave! SUH-WEET! And they're even gonna have marble counters where you stand there and drink your cafes..and maybe real Italian dudes who will yell and make you feel stupido if you don't understand what they're saying en Italiano.

* This one was a false alarm: Chipotle is not, I repeat NOT coming to Park Slope.

TGIF.

How Many Bagel Shops Does One Block Need?

photo: Brownstoner

Why, I ask you? WHY?

I don't know how it is that our la bagel loving FIPS maven isn't up in arms at this incursion into her beloved's territory, but she was really quite complacent in last week's round up of new "restos." Is this in the glossary, by the way? Along with the newly ubiquitous FIPS terminology "probs?" 

Are bagels really so much like korean markets that you need two within a one-block radius of each other? Are the bagels of the upcoming Bagel Market going to be such an improvement upon those of La Bagel Delight? Will they avoid the maddening two line sitch of LBD to rule the block? Will they serve brisket or matzoh ball soup?

Because otherwise I don't see the need for another bagel hole (unless it is THE Bagel Hole, which I'd gladly welcome) in Center Slope.

Does ANYBODY do any research before they open a store on 7th Avenue?

Ricky's Pop-Up Shop Comes To South Slope

Looks like we'll have another place to get Halloween costumes in the Slope besides Beacon's Closet.

This weekend, signs for a Ricky's Halloween Pop-up shop appeared on the corner of 11th Street and 7th Avenue, on the site of the old Hudson Cleaners. No word on when the shop actually opens, but there are signs posted that they're hiring, so get your resumes in order.

I've never been a huge fan of Halloween, so I could give two shits about Ricky's temporarily setting up shop here in South Slope. I'm sure the spot will get lots of traffic, especially because there's zero competition from surrounding businesses. And I'm sure the folks on 11th street who put the giant blow-up ghosts on their front lawn every year will be happy to have a place close to home to buy their decorations. It's also good to know that if I get dragged to some lame-ass costume party, I'll know where to go to buy over-priced costumes.  

Of course, this isn't the only Ricky's in the Slope. They're also opening another Halloween pop-up shop on the corner of Bergen and Flatbush, and there's a apparently plans for a permanent location at 478 Bergen, on that strip between Flatbush and 5th Avenue. With Babeland on the same strip, I think we can officially declare that as Park Slope's very own Red Light District. There's even a maternity clothing store there (Bump) which oddly seems appropriate, don't you think?

Read way more shit from Nine Daves here.

MORE New Park Slope Restos

photo: BrownstonerHope you bitches are hongry, cause there are like 10 new Park Slope restaurants sheduled to open every day for the rest of the month. Ok, fine, not 10, but shit be poppin around here:

• There is a new bagel place opening a block away from the N. Slope La Bagel Delight: Bagel Market. This confuses me, except the owner claims they are going to ALSO have Hale & Hearty soups, a salad bar and sit down eating. Ohhhhkay, then why the fuck do you also need bagels? Why not just go the salad route? WHY WON'T ANYONE OPEN UP A MOTHERFUCKING SALAD PLACE AROUND HERE??? WE NEED A CHOPT OR SOMETHING! (via Brownstoner)
• Naruto Ramen, a Japanese noodle joint on the UES plans to open up another spot in the old 3R Living space on 5th Ave. (via Zagat)
• Maria's Mexican Bistro on Union has now magically morphed into Mama Rosa Latin Bistro, thanks to the owners of Los Politos III that are taking this shit over. The food is allegedly gonna be more Colombian/Spanish influenced. (via Zagat)
• Rob Blatt told me there was a South Brooklyn Pizza opening up next to Cherry Tree on 4th Ave.
• I haven't seen any pics yet, but a tipster told me that there was a note on Bussaco's door about how they're now getting sued for a million billion dollars.

I'm vaguely intrigued by this Ramen place, but other than that I sort of don't care. Mostly, I guess, because as hard as it allegedly is to run a restaurant and make any fucking money, I'm blown away by the fact that NO ONE seems to ever: take a look at the neighborhood; see what's mising or needed; and then meet that need. It's all just pizza joints, bagel shops and bullshit that we've all seen before (NOTE: for ideas about what bitches around here *actually* would like to see, the readers of FIPS have made a handy dandy list).