What the Gowanus Canal Needs? OYSTERS!

Sexy!

Architect Kate Orff gave a speech at the TED Conference last December, and suggested that Oysters may in fact be the key to rescuing the gigantic, smelly, sewer-like Gowanus Canal.

"Bundled into beds and sunk into city rivers, oysters slurp up pollution and make legendarily dirty waters clean -- thus driving even more innovation in 'oyster-tecture.'"

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The Gowanus Canal Is So Dirty You Shouldn't Even *Look* At It

On the West Coast of the United States we've got California, the sunny beaches of the Pacific and medical marijuana. Along the West Coast of Park Slope, we've got the chunky shit stream that is the Gowanus Canal.

If you live here, you likely already knew the Gowanus was basically slowly churning green sludge crap and hiding dead bodies. And, yep: the government task force via the EPA has now confirmed this in disgusting, mathematically precise detail.

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Gowanus Canal Goo: It Doesn't Get Much More Toxic Than This, Ppl

Cleaning the Canal from Characters of Gowanus on Vimeo.

This shit eats through heavy duty plastic...and gawd knows what else.

[Sidenote: guess the Gowanus Canal is the obvious choice, if you ever need to dispose of a body?...jus sayin].