Parkwanus-Sized Drama at The Pines?

Photo via The Pines Facebook page

LONG LIVE PARKWANUS! A mere twenty days ago, The Pines, Parkwanus’ rustically kooky Italian-Asianish restaurant became the neighborhood's first restaurant to receive a starred review from The NY Times' Pete Wells. While they did only receive one star, Wells noted that they seemed to be improving over time, comparing them to the 70's band Television...who apparently sucked for a bunch before they became awesome.

Then this past Friday, word got out that The Pines' head chef Angelo Romano was leaving the restaurant on Friday the 13th. BUT WHA??? Leaving so soon after a NY Times review? It's not like it was that bad of a review. I mean, it paled in comparison to when The Times' Sam Sifton dropped a zero-star "fair" rating on Eddie Huang's Xiao Ye, which closed a month-and-a-half later after one too many Four Loko-related raids.

So WHAT COULD IT BE?

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Now we all have to eat cake pops

Fabipops! [Photo by @mr_mookie and @creativityqas, via @fabipops on Instagram]

You guys. Everything is coming up cake pops. The balls of cake on a stick are the new cronuts, which are the new frozen yogurts, which are the new cupcakes. And since no trend truly exists unless it exists in Park Slope, you might not be ready to accept the cake pop as a trend because they did not exist in Park Slope until just now. Fabipops, a store dedicated to the newest dessert sensation, just opened an outpost in The Slope (60 4th Avenue, between Bergen and Dean St). And duh - they will sell you a cake pop if you want one. 

Now that you know what a cake pop is, did you know that you can have Fabipops make a cake pop that looks like your head? Did you know that you can get a cake pop emblazoned with the logo of your business or of your poorly-run transit system? Well you can. So, if this solves some sort of problem you were having about wanting someone to eat a cake voodoo doll of you, or of squandering shareholder money/taxpayer dollars on cake with a stick in it, well: "TA DA!"

Personally, I think cake pops are stupid, because:

(1) They are not pie and everyone knows that pie is superior to cake in every regard; and

(2) Everyone also knows that the only reason to put something on a stick and call it a "pop" is so that you can lick it. And licking cake is weird and wrong.

That having been said, I can't really make fun of this woman's business, because she had a young child who died of pneumonia. So, I guess we're all just going to have to lick cake on a stick, everybody!

Who's excited?

[What You Should Order At...] Sea Witch

Image by Park Slope Lens

WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT... is a recurring column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses. When the mood strikes, we pick one Park Slop(ish) resto and recommend our favorite dish. Are we right? Are we wrong? YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.

When I last wrote about Sea Witch just after its opening way back in early 2012, I had no idea that it'd eventually become the Brooklyn bar that I'd end up most frequenting. I mean, at the time of that first visit, the indoor fish tank & beer selection & food & tunes were relatively cool but the backyard was non-existent & shit, there are a MILLION bars in Brooklyn. Still, the backyard eventually opened & I have friends who live just around the corner & Sea Witch still has their menu of exceptionally-well-done bar food, so I kept finding my way back. Also: OTHER THAN ME, LOW DOUCHEBAG QUOTIENT.

That menu: I've more than dabbled in the burger. I've tried the clam sandwich & the oysters & the kielbasa sandwich, each on multiple occasions. They've even added tacos, but I've yet to go down that path. Still, the one dish on their menu that stands out is their Pork Schnitzel Sandwich ($7).

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Dinosaur Bar-B-Que Gets All Jurassic Park Up in This Piece

Jeff Goldblum is welcome at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que. The T-Rex is NOT.

YEEZUS CHRIST, PARK SLOPE. One word: T-Rex...& if I may, please allow me to use a poorly-though-out dinosaur metaphor to tell you...

Early Tuesday night, after an exciting day of drone work, I made my way back to Brooklyn & more specifically, Union St. to fill my face with BBQ & beer. The reason: The Dinosaur Bar-B-Que Premiere Party. That's right, jerks. For one night, I was part of some exclusive club who got to experience the seventh Dinosaur BBQ locale a full twenty-three hours before it opened to the general public on Wednesday.

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GoogaMooga 2013: Less Shitty Than GoogaMooga 2012

Oh, GoogaMooga. Thou hath been dubbed "Great" & thou hath been highly-anticipated for two years running now & thou hath now twice befuddled those expecting to be wowed by your bounty of food & music. Should we hate you? Should we love you? Should we think of you as that one crazy friend who we have that crazy night out with once every year but who we definitely don't need to hang out with any other weekend? 

Last year, your inaugural edition started off as an absolute shitshow, with a first day that saw vendors running out of food and festival-goers bereft of working ATMs & cell-phone service and a general air of anger & incivility. After that much-maligned first day, you worked through most of your first-day hiccups, er...belches & things ran smoother on the second day. Sure two full days with tens of thousands of oft-drunken people trampling across the Prospect Park grounds left a definite impact but, in the end, you gave ticket holders a refund & in doing so, acknowledged your awfulness. Since money makes the world go round, 'twas a very grown-up step for such a young festival.

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