[What You Should Order At...] Sea Witch

Image by Park Slope Lens

WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT... is a recurring column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses. When the mood strikes, we pick one Park Slop(ish) resto and recommend our favorite dish. Are we right? Are we wrong? YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.

When I last wrote about Sea Witch just after its opening way back in early 2012, I had no idea that it'd eventually become the Brooklyn bar that I'd end up most frequenting. I mean, at the time of that first visit, the indoor fish tank & beer selection & food & tunes were relatively cool but the backyard was non-existent & shit, there are a MILLION bars in Brooklyn. Still, the backyard eventually opened & I have friends who live just around the corner & Sea Witch still has their menu of exceptionally-well-done bar food, so I kept finding my way back. Also: OTHER THAN ME, LOW DOUCHEBAG QUOTIENT.

That menu: I've more than dabbled in the burger. I've tried the clam sandwich & the oysters & the kielbasa sandwich, each on multiple occasions. They've even added tacos, but I've yet to go down that path. Still, the one dish on their menu that stands out is their Pork Schnitzel Sandwich ($7).

For that lucky price, you get a sandwich with a comically-large piece of breaded deep fried pork loin joined with banana peppers, onion, lettuce, tomato & house mustard, all um..."encased" within a tiny potato roll.

If your god and/or diet allows you to legally eat pork, let me tell you more about this sandwich! Due to the aforementioned humorous size of said schnitzel, the only rational plan of attack is to give the sammy a firm grip in the middle & eat around the schnitzel until you've worked it down to a size that fits within the confines of the roll. While you'll likely get some sparse veggies & condiments during this first series of bites, it's only when you get the schnitzel down to a manageable size that you're able to get full bites with all the ingredients coming into play.

Once that happens, the pork is thin & the breading is light & while you always get a bite of banana pepper & the other veggies, at times you get a bite of spicy mustard & at others you get a bite of mayo. Maybe I'm letting beer occupy too many of my calories but, for the price, it ends up being a satisfying meal...until I have four more beers & want another.

Read way more from Shawn at eatdrinksnack.com & eatdrinktaco.com.