Why Erica Needs to Join the Food Coop, Part III

Some of you may have read of my ongoing recruitment efforts to get Erica to join the partay that is membership in the Park Slope Food Coop. Frankly, I don't know how she can call herself a Park Slope blogger without drinking the kombucha (from a reasonably priced recyclable metal container, $8.99?). How can you properly make fun of the Food Coop without ever attending an orientation or working a shift?

My efforts have been hampered not only by Erica's ever-so-polite intransigence (you have NO idea how well-mannered she is in real life), but also by the fact that the fucking Food Coop has actually had a MONTHS LONG WAITING LIST for new orientations.

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Happy BELATED Lame-Ass School Holiday Formerly Known as Brooklyn Queens Day

ed note: I shoulda posted this shit last week, but I suck so I didn't.

So, as with almost all days (and weeks) off of school, the holiday formerly known as B/Q Day came as a somewhat unwelcome surprise. Even more so when I realized the night before that it was also my double at the food coop.

So instead of sharing meaningful moments like the one above at the beauteous and nearby Botanical Gardens, I spent four hours and twenty minutes doing this.

Only I wasn't smiling.

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[INFIPSTIGATION] Park Slope Food Coop v. Barneys Co-Op

image via RackedOh for fuck's sake. It's true [gawd, I thought it was a good April Fool's joke].

So yes, I emailed Park Slope Food Coop General Manager Joe Holtz to get his side of the story.

Here you go. Have your fun, you dirtbags... I hate that you're right.

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Park Slope Food Coop To Sue Barney's Co-Op Over Name Violations?

image via the geniuses at RackedYou know, sometimes I have these moments when I'm like, "hunh...maybe I AM just a whiny, fucking bitch."

I think about all the crap we write about on FIPS and then wonder aloud if I should relax...or tone it down...or just stop picking on certain people, places or things...like the Park Slope Food Coop for example! I mean, its just a group of committed, community loving Brooklynites right?? Working together for the greater good of us all!

Right???

And then I see shit like this:

Is the Barneys Co-op breaking the law — with its name?

"The venerable Park Slope Food Coop has fired a shot against the fancy-schmancy Barneys Co-op, saying that the department store slated to open later this year on Atlantic Avenue has illegally coopted the word “co-op”..."

AYFKMTS????

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ORGANIC AS FUCK: WHERE'S THE COOP GOSSIP?

Like, really.  Need I say more?

What's up, Slope?  No Food Coop gossip as of late?  You're slipping.  FIPS can't deal with the idea of a couple of weeks without some juicy Coop-y smut, so come on, feed us.  Go stealth anon in the comments, as Erica would say.

Don't let those organic fucks from Lefferts outdo the sleazy trash talk ring of which Park Slope is so proud.

(On another related note, looks like Whole Foods in Gowanus is still full steam ahead.  I don't know about you, but the idea of eating anything housed that close to the canal makes my stomach churn.  I'm thinking like, kale with octopus arms and shit.  Sex, food, and other precarious situations combining the two: below Fourth Avenue, all bets are off.  Thoughts?)