Why Erica Needs to Join the Food Coop, Part III

Some of you may have read of my ongoing recruitment efforts to get Erica to join the partay that is membership in the Park Slope Food Coop. Frankly, I don't know how she can call herself a Park Slope blogger without drinking the kombucha (from a reasonably priced recyclable metal container, $8.99?). How can you properly make fun of the Food Coop without ever attending an orientation or working a shift?

My efforts have been hampered not only by Erica's ever-so-polite intransigence (you have NO idea how well-mannered she is in real life), but also by the fact that the fucking Food Coop has actually had a MONTHS LONG WAITING LIST for new orientations.

But the moon is in the 7th house and Jupiter aligned with Mars because I have found the perfect shift for Erica AND Joe Holtz sent her a formal invitation last week (not embossed, mind you, as I requested but he's a busy man running his home-grown empire and threatening to sue Barney's Co-Op).

Erica should join the Food Coop Twitter squad! I don't actually know if such a thing exists officially, but I say nobody is better-suited to the task. I, myself, have a new gig, writing for the Park Slope Food Coop's Linewaiters' Gazette. And I just finished my first article: "Standing Room Only At the Annual Meeting." I may nominate it for a Pulitzer.

Fun Annual Food Coop Meeting Facts:

• the line to get in was around the block when I arrived.
• 91% were there for work credit.
• The Food Coop tolerates being made fun of way better than Park Slope Parents do (so stop calling them nazis?).
• They cleared $39.4 mil in sales last year. Holy shit. And that's below wholesale.
• They've got Robicelli's fried cupcakes. (that's a lie but I think we could make it a reality!).
• And, adrien grenier loves us... 

Did you hear that, Erica???

[ed note: Yes...yes I did. BUT IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN].