How To Happy New Years?

So, for my first fully-employed-look-Ma-Imma-big-girl-now Park Slope New Year's Eve, I figured I'd take a hint from the habits of my Brownstone Slope neighbors and go big: throw a dinner party. 

A super fucking classy eight person invite-only dinner party, Slope style.  You know, locavore shit, and doing the Maggie thing by purchasing some dirty whore cheese at the Larder.

Let me tell you, my non-Brownstone-owning, non-nanny-having friends: throwing a dinner party in your tiny apartment with about four days to plan is not among the smarter things you can do. 

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COOKIN WITH COOLIO

Why in the name of fuck have I never seen these Cookin with Coolio vids before??

Ghetto Gourmet?? Yes, please.

SHAKA!

Also, I fucking hate salad eatin' bitches.

SAVE ISTANBUL PARK! SAVE ISTANBUL PARK!

These kebabs are not from Istanbul Park...but shit there is even *better* than these mofos. Guaranteed.

If you’re still wandering all the way over to Zaytoon on Smith St. for your falafel fix, two words: Fuck you.

Seriously.

Each time you make your way over to Boerum Hill for some cheap shawarma lovin’, a very important piece of Park Slope dies.

I’m talking about Istanbul Park (previously mentioned and loved on), which inhabits the space on 7th Ave. formerly occupied by No No Kitchen. Istanbul is all sorts of awesome: otherworldly chicken kebab, perfectly good ghanoush and an array of lamb dishes that make me wonder if the animals were raised on beer and daily massages, just like Kobe cows. This food is seriously good--and cheap. And yet, the place is always empty.

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Remember When Jonathan Safran Foer Said Park Slope Restaurants Were 'Miserable?'

Right, cause we totally do.

But now that JSF has a book out-n-all (and needs to plug that shit however he can), he seems to have had a change of heart. Not about eating cute little fur baby cows, chickens and pigs, of course...but about Park Slope cuisine!

Here's what he had to say about his favorite veggie burger:

“[Bonnie's] veggie burger is fucking great!"

Whoa.

N-I-C-E, JSF! Lettin loose with the expletives! What's next, a guest post on NY Shitty?

In any event, we likey.

(via Grub Street)

Who Gives A Shit: Are We Still *Really* Talking About Babies In Bars?

Yes, bitches....yes we are.

Sorry, but we just can't help ourselves. Espesh when we receive calls for help, like the following from a "Concerned South Sloper" DINK:

Soooooo.......

My wife and I dropped by the Dram Shop on Saturday afternoon to overload on greasy food and beer on a shit-er-iffic day.  All was nice and quiet (aside from the earsplitting music) with just the two of us and one other couple indulging in fried deliciousness and hoppy goodness.  All of the sudden, 3 different FAMILIES walk in with kids in tow.  So now we are treated to screaming kids playing shuffle board and dads talking in their dad voices until we finally just decided to give up and leave.

What the eff is that?  The last time I checked it was called Dram Shop BAR.  It is never okay to bring kids to a bar, right?  Am I crazy or something?

-Concerned South Sloper

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