FIPS GETS FUCKED: AN EXPLANATION

Oh hai everybody.

If you happened to reach this site because you were looking for Free Porn, Free Sex Stories or Gay Porn Videos, I'm sorry to say that this url has beeen re-re-directed back to that whiny, know-it-all, annoying blog about all the insufferable people who live here in Park Slope, BK. Sorry to disappoint!

I guess I owe an apology to Enheightened, a Newbie on Brooklynian who had been "eagerly awaiting the news" of our demise. And let's not forget about Former Effed Reader from South Slope who thinks "Ms. Reitman's commentary is as lame as her domain registering skills."...or Dave from Park Slope who had this to say: "actually the new site is a lot more interesting, and the absence of hyper-annoying smugness is a breath of fresh air" in the comments of the Brooklyn Paper post.

Yes, indeedy: I regret to inform all of my frenemies near-n-far that FIPS IS BACK, MOTHERFUCKERZZZZZ!

Click to read more ...

WTF is Going Down in Prospect Park? (Other than FIPS, that is?)

 

Okay, I was really enjoying the idea of a FIPS Slope House at that fancy mansion on 8th. Right up until I read this and started worrying that I was going to be hob-knobbing with a potential effing serial killer!!!

I like a good prank and I don't mind, say, somebody wheeling an empty, kind of creepy wheelchair into the middle of the meadow. But, uh, dismembered goat heads? Not so much.

Hot off the presses (Brooklyn Papers via Gothamist)...

Goat Head Found In Prospect Park

Last week bags containing animal parts were discovered in Prospect Park, upping the body count of slaughtered animals discovered there this year. 

According to the Brooklyn Paper (they have photos), a goat head believed to belong to one of the dismembered bodies found last week, has now been found.

The paper reports that the head was covered in orange wax, about 100 feet away from the parts found last week. The unlucky man who spotted it told them, “I was walking my dog, sending texts on my Blackberry, and then I saw it. I thought, ‘Man, is that the head?’ It’s gross.” Nearby were two plates, which were also both covered in wax, as well as food scraps, indicating a Santeria offering.

Anyone Looking For A New Apt?

Cause I know a totally great place right in the heart of Park Slope!

And it's only $18,000 FUCKING DOLLARS A MONTH!

I just checked the Corcoran listing and apparently this $18k does not include a full-time prostitute and/or bags of cocaine. It's JUST for the apt.

So yeah, I have an appt tomorrow to see it. Obvies I've got money to burn what with all the benji's I make from bloggin...

(via Curbed)

OPEN POST: HAIL TO THE CHIEF

Ok, so maybe this isn't quite as bro-tastic as the great Tornado of 2010 vid, but it's still pretty good. Be patient through the dark black shit in the beginning..the hail does make an impressive appearance.

I don't know about you btchz, but i SERIOUSLY thought the world was coming to an end last night. When this hail storm shit first started, I thought someone was up on our roof throwing crap down into the courtyard of our building. Oliver, who doesn't give a racccoon's ass about thunder and/or lightning, was looking at me positively panic stricken. And Greg! Poor Greg got stuck IN THE BELLY OF THE STORM and was camped out under the awning at the former Blockbuster (now Toys-R-Us) on Flatbush. When he returned home, he srsly looked as if he had swung by the pool at Berkeley Carroll on the way home from the sub, and just dove in with all his clothes on. Dude was W-E-T.

Here's some vid of flooding in Park Slope from the City Room Blog.

So where were you? Did you think you were going to die? What do you think is coming next? An earthquake? A Tsunami?? (Never say never!).

Tell us what's on your mind...even if its non-hail storm, tornado or bedbug related.

We Could All Learn A Lesson In Humanity From BMW Guy

Whether you love Park Slope or you hate Park Slope, I think the one thing we can all agree on is that this nabe NEVER fucking disappoints. Case in point: BMW dude.

Yes folks, unless this shit is a prank, there is in fact some asshole living in our fine nabe who, due to the overflowing an uncontrollable kindness of his own heart, would like to offer you the opportunity to showcase *his* shiny new BMW, FOR FREE, in your very own driveway. That's it! He has a hot car, and you have an empty parking spot, so why the hell shouldn't you join forces and let him park his car there!? Again, FOR FREE.

This is the ad from Craigslist:

"I am offering to park my Brand New shiny BMW in your drive way. Cost to you is $0. Not only will it increase your status in the neighborhood, but it will also make your house look GOOD! I'm a pretty generous person, so I want nothing in return for this privilege! Park Slope only!"

Honestly, why stop there!? I'm gonna take this shit one step further and say, if you have a car AND you live in Park Slope, I WILL DRIVE IT FOR YOU (WHENEVER I WANT)...for FREE. And, duh, obvs this will also make you look pretty fucking good, cause then everyone will think that we're friends. I'll even put Oliver's ass in the backseat and twit pic that shit! Then people will like you more in the nabe and when you pass by your neighbors sitting out on the stoop they'll be all "I didn't know you were buds with that FIPS chick!?" And you can be all "Um, hello!? We're like BFF's!"

Why would I do that? BECAUSE I CARE, PPL. I CARE A LOTTTTT.

(via Gothamist)