Brooklyn Brine: welcome to the 'hood!

While walking home from boot camp one humid afternoon, I stumbled upon a window of pickle jars at 574A President Street between 3rd and 4th ave. I was hot, sticky, gross, dehydrated, and exhausted. Pickles should have been the farthest thing from my mind, yet these salty treasures called out to me: Spicy Maple Bourbon, Whiskey Sour, and Damn Spicy, just to name a few. Should I go home, shower and eat some protein? I wondered, Or use my FiPS cred to get the scoop on Brooklyn Brine's newest factory and only Brooklyn storefront? (read: try to convince owner to let me sample the goods in exchange for free publicity).

For a few moments I was in a pickle (you knew it was coming).  Eventually, my taste buds got the best of me and I entered the garage door entry, where I was greeted by a young tatted up dude, AKA Brooklyn Brine owner, Shamus Jones. He's a former chef and will have you know that "trust fund baby" he is not. Shamus built the Brooklyn Brine biz from the ground up three years ago, and today he's pickling 1,500 jars a day from his new 2,300 square foot factory in Park Slope. He exports his goods all the way to Japan, and has snatched up titles like "Best of NY: The Finest Pickles in the City" from the NY Daily News. Man, what a lazy shit. 

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Commercial Shoot Invades Park Slope With Mean Sociological Experiment: Part II

Last December, I stumbled across an Ally Bank commercial shoot mean sociological experiment at the Associated Market on 5th Avenue, and now that I've seen the final product, I'd like some questions answered.

To re-cap: This past winter, as part of a commercial shoot, Ally Bank staged a hidden camera spectacle wherein an actor would ask a shopper to cut in line at the check-out. When the actor reached the register, balloons dropped from the ceiling and a pretty woman appeared with a giant check, informing the actor that he'd just "won" $50,000 for being the millionth customer. This left the polite man who let him cut in line looking (and surely feeling) like a dumb asshole.

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Happy 4th of July, Fipsters!

Did you remember to get an American Flag bathing suit from American Apparel? FiPS fan Yolandeesha did!

Happy birthday, America! You don't look a day over 236. But couldn't your birthday fall on any other day besides a predicted stormy, 93-degree day in the middle of the week?! 

This year, the fireworks are ONCE AGAIN being displayed over the Hudson River, which just goes to show how much the people of Macy's love the dirty Jerse WAY more than us Brooklyn folk.

If you're a gambling fool, you'll risk the 50% chance of isolated thunderstorms and head into Manhattan for 25 minutes of the most bad-ass pyrotechnic display in the world as Macys explodes more than 40,000 fireworks along the Hudson River (again, while flipping the bird to Brooklyn, but whatever). We hear Katy Perry is even performing. Now if only she had a song about fireworks to sing... Oh, and Kenny Chesney will be crooning some country classics too. Here's the 311 on when and where to stake your spot should you make the aforementioned trek.

If you don't want to join the cluster fuck of three million spectators, you can download this cool app and watch the spectacle on your phone while (fill in the blank with literally any verb ending in 'ing'). Or you can watch it on NBC from the comfort of your air-conditioned apartment (bonus points if you have access to a terrace in New Jersey).

And what about the wildly popular tradition of grilling in Prospect Park? if you don't own a grill or can't stand the thought of carrying around one of those single-use tailgate grills with a giant photo of Larry the Cable Guy beaming like an idiot on the front of it, and don't feel like waking up at 6AM to haul your ass to Park Slope's giant lawn to land one of their coveted grills, you can just say 'fuck it' to the park in general and head to Skylark on 5th Avenue. During the day they'll be opening their backyard and serving  up FREE hot dogs with each drink and pulled pork slider platters for a mere $3. 

Boom.

[Review'd] A Tour Grows In Brooklyn (And How I Learned That Al Capone Couldn't Handle Park Slope)

Back when you could paint your brownstone pepto bismol pink / via Gothamist

Think you know everything there is to know about Park Slope? Think again, smart ass. Richard Kadlub, AKA "Big Rick," will gladly prove you wrong on his fantastic walking tour of our hood, adorably dubbed "A Tour Grows in Brooklyn." The three-hour journey begins on the gritty, industrial 4^th avenue, where I can only imagine the visiting Scottish woman in our group was thinking, did I really just travel 3,000 miles to see a car wash and collision shop? 

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[Video]: The Slope Takes on "Primary Care Givers"

Our favorite neighborhood web series The Slope, whose second episode made us shit our pants last summer, takes their latest webisode to Tea Lounge, wherein a hilarious Michael Showalter nails the liberal laissez faire Park Slope parenting worthy of Portlandia-style parody.

He portrays the role of "active male primary care giver" to his young daughter Hazel, which makes one of the lesbian stars of the series want to "fornicate with men again." It's an all-too-familiar scene: a child running amok as her over-indulgent parent boasts about the kid "claiming her own emotions" and marveling at her "spirited inner core." 

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