Owl & Thistle General Store Opens Today

What's that you say? Well, I will tell you. It's a general store, generally selling general stuff that you generally need or want. Ok, I'll stop being an asshole now. Owl & Thistle specializes in local and sustainable fair trade goods at affordable prices. They have just about everything--greeting cards, clothes, small-batch food, home accessories, jewelry, purses, etc.--so they're essentially a rustic, mini Wal-Mart except their stuff isn't crap. So walk on down to Owl & Thistle General Store at 720 Franklin Avenue (between Park Place and Sterling) and get yourself some goods.

Dear Barclay's Center Rendering Artist

Dear Barclay’s Center Rendering Artist,

I don’t know how to break this to you gently, so I’ll just say it: your renderings are TERRIBLE. Ssh…shh…it’s okay; please don’t be sad. I’m telling you this because I want to help you. If people keep pretending this stuff looks good, you will never improve.

First, I think you should know that when you are making a rendering, you have the ability to make it look as awesome as possible. This isn’t real life; it’s life how you want it to be! That being said, let's have a look at your valiant efforts: 

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To all drunkards who want a puppy: Too Fucking Bad

Photo via Flickriver

Because of a few sloshed assholes, New York City pet stores are cracking down on drunken puppy purchases! Christopher Street's Le Petit Puppy won’t even let you PLAY with pups if you’re hammered— what will I do with my Saturday nights?! — and if Chelsea's Citipups even smells booze on your breath you sure as hell won’t be walking out of there with a new furry friend.

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Who's Got Hoes In Different Area Codes?

Fellas: Does your girlfriend shovel massive amounts of food into her face? Does she selfishly hoard all the leftovers? Ladies: Does your boyfriend only hang out with ‘the boys’ in a borough far, far away? Does your significant other own a white fedora?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you are most likely a victim of Double Borough Dating!

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PROSPECT PARK GOOSE WATCH: To Gas, or not to Gas? That is the question.

It’s been a year since the USDA gassed the shit out of 400 Prospect Park geese, but here's some good news: they won’t be performing a repeat goose-o-cide this year! Why? Maybe because there are only 26 geese left anyway so it’s a waste of time. Or maybe they were afraid of geese activists threatening to foil their evil plan!

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