Who's Got Hoes In Different Area Codes?

Fellas: Does your girlfriend shovel massive amounts of food into her face? Does she selfishly hoard all the leftovers? Ladies: Does your boyfriend only hang out with ‘the boys’ in a borough far, far away? Does your significant other own a white fedora?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you are most likely a victim of Double Borough Dating!

According to a recent article in the NY Post, New Yorkers have taken cheating to a whole new level. The idea is that you can date multiple partners without getting caught, so long as they all reside in different boroughs. If you only hang out with your queen in Queens and only bang your babe in Brooklyn, then the two won’t likely cross paths, giving you the freedom to multi-date without fear of getting caught. Foolproof right?

False. Don’t be an idiot; you can’t date two people at the same time for six months to a year without getting caught eventually — haven’t you ever heard the phrase “it’s a small world”? Yeah, well a city is way fuckin’ smaller than a world — you do the math. Again, via The Post:

Nick Nadel, a 33-year-old blogger for GuySpeak.com and MTV, had a similar experience — with ladies from two states. In the month that his Brooklyn and Jersey relationships overlapped, he was careful. “But then you take the Brooklyn hipster to a Ted Leo concert in Coney Island, and there’s the Jersey girl in the beer line,” Nadel sighs, his voice trailing off.

Whatever happened to communication? Tell someone you don’t want to be exclusive and you can date as many people as you want wherever the fuck you want!

If that statement has you asking, “But Jessica, what if I just enjoy the thrill of the lying to multiple people?” then karma will balance out your life with a nice helping of herpes.