Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

LOST: Flash Drive

We feature these lost crap posts and what is the point? I guess I can relate to desperate people. I'm lost in the darkness, Breezy. If you see a flash drive that is totally non-descript and it hasn't been run over by a car, hit these people up. Remember in Airheads when the ex-girlfriend brings the tape to the radio station and it's been pissed on by some dog because she left it in the street? That's what I'm thinking for the flash drive. 

Yoga Instructor Video

When I hear "yogi" I'm still thinking "Hey Boo-Boo, let's go get us some picnic baskets." I'm stupid though. Yoga is big. Way big. Who hasn't met a yoga instructor? This seems like a creep post but I bet it's legit. Video editing is definitely one of those things where you have to show you can do it before somebody will pay you for it. This could be a good deal if you're looking to get your yogi career off the ground.

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Finally, a drinks menu just for you lady-folks

Photo credit: Konstantin Sergeyev via Grub StreetYou’re a lady, and as a man I can say on behalf of my fellow chaps that we really enjoy having you 

around. Really, we do. You smell of flowers, smile frequently, and generally make us merry with your 

silvery, tinkling laughter and dainty ankles. That said, your companionship comes at a price. We have to 

put our coats down on puddles for you, retrieve you from standing on chairs after seeing mice, and walk 

on the outside of you while we chaperone you to the hat shop (oh, you and your millinery). We also like 

to have the odd sherry with you every now and again, but the simple fact is that without the willpower 

and fortitude of a man such behavior can lead to an inordinately high incidence of swooning and we 

have to scoop you up and carry you back to your boudoir, one of your forearms artfully draped over 

your eyes. How adorable of you.

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WHASSUP: Branch Out Edition

This week I'm asking you to try some things outside of your neighborhood. Park slope is lovely, don't get me wrong, but there's a big world out there just itching to be discovered by you. Oh don't worry, complainers, I'm not sending you outside of the United States of Brooklyn—just a diferent neighborhood or two. Rub elbows with some other good folks, listen to a different genre of music, and stretch your legs a little. 

If you do attend one of these hand-picked masterpieces I wouldn't be mad to hear about it. Hell, send a picture. I might even show you off to the world. 

This, my pigeons, is WHASSUP:

Thursday, 6/5, Game On, Brooklyn!, Brooklyn Bridge Park: Have you been to Brooklyn Bridge Park yet (BBP for short)? Of course you have! Calm by weekday, shitstorm by weekend. Regardless, the place is a fucking godsend and is offering some free calisthetics with our very own borough president, Eric L. Admas.  FREE, 11:30am-3pm 

Friday, 6/6, Sundance Film Festival Shorts, MetroTech Commons: No worries if you didn't jet out to the acclaimed film festival, it's coming to you for one night only. You'll see short films that created the most buzz. FREE, doors 8pm, live music 8:30pm, screnning 9pm

Saturday, 6/7, Party Like It’s 1999: Regulate Your Purple Speed in June Edition, The Bell House: This week commemorates some turly shitty 90's shit. If you're feeling nostalgic I suggest you Humpty Dance your way on over to the Bell House where you'll find Waren G, STP and a little diddy from Keanu Reaves. FREE, 10pm

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Depressed City Sub Devotées Can Console Themselves with a Postcard

By now, you've probably heard the news that rocked Park Slope this week -- neighborhood sandwich shop institution City Sub on Bergen Street is CLOSED!! And even though the sign on the door says this is just temporary, and that they will be reopening soon on the very same block, people are fah-reaking out. Even Pete Wells and A.O. Scott from The New York Times went all cray cray on Twitter over this development:

Heh, heh. Me likey that A.O. Scott. Well, fret not folks, while you wait for the chance to once again stand in line for a sub that is definitely pretty good, but not like, the be-all end-all of sammiches, artists D. Billy and Nathan Manuel made a postcard for you:

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Want to Write for FIPS?

FIPS is looking for some new writers to join our whack pack. As our Dear Leader Erica so eloquently states:

If you feel like joining our crazy FIPS whack pack crew, and your writing doesn't suck ass, we'd probably love to have you. Here's the deal: I'd love to hear all about how you're a hardcore FIPS reader, have the perfect voice, were born to make fun of Park Slope, blah, blah, blah. But mostly I just want to see if you can hack it. So if you REALLY want to write for us, send us a post. Any post, I don't really give a crap. If you read the blog and know what we do, I'd love to see something that you think would be a good fit. Just cut and paste that shit into the little box below, tell me about yourself briefly and hit "submit." If its funny, I'll get back to you (i.e. I'm very fucking lazy, and need as much help as I can get).

So go here and get in touch with us.