WHASSUP: Branch Out Edition

This week I'm asking you to try some things outside of your neighborhood. Park slope is lovely, don't get me wrong, but there's a big world out there just itching to be discovered by you. Oh don't worry, complainers, I'm not sending you outside of the United States of Brooklyn—just a diferent neighborhood or two. Rub elbows with some other good folks, listen to a different genre of music, and stretch your legs a little. 

If you do attend one of these hand-picked masterpieces I wouldn't be mad to hear about it. Hell, send a picture. I might even show you off to the world. 

This, my pigeons, is WHASSUP:

Thursday, 6/5, Game On, Brooklyn!, Brooklyn Bridge Park: Have you been to Brooklyn Bridge Park yet (BBP for short)? Of course you have! Calm by weekday, shitstorm by weekend. Regardless, the place is a fucking godsend and is offering some free calisthetics with our very own borough president, Eric L. Admas.  FREE, 11:30am-3pm 

Friday, 6/6, Sundance Film Festival Shorts, MetroTech Commons: No worries if you didn't jet out to the acclaimed film festival, it's coming to you for one night only. You'll see short films that created the most buzz. FREE, doors 8pm, live music 8:30pm, screnning 9pm

Saturday, 6/7, Party Like It’s 1999: Regulate Your Purple Speed in June Edition, The Bell House: This week commemorates some turly shitty 90's shit. If you're feeling nostalgic I suggest you Humpty Dance your way on over to the Bell House where you'll find Waren G, STP and a little diddy from Keanu Reaves. FREE, 10pm

Saturday, 6/7, The Best of the 90’s Salsa Concert, Barclays Center: If your idea of salsa is Pace you're way out of your league. It's time to turn up the fucking heat, Slopers, and get your groove on at that rusty collesium you've all been complaining about. $64.70, 8pm

Sunday, 6/8, The Ultimate (Drinking) Game of Thrones Season 4 Viewing Party, La Salsa at Cantina Royal: Can someone please tell me if it really is possible to make a man's head explode by sticking your thumbs in his eyes and squeezing the rest of his melon like you just don't care? I know I needed a drink after that and I bet you do too. Next episode promises to have just as many guts, tits, and plot twists. 8:30 learn the rules, 9pm show

Monday, 6/9, Monday Night Trivia, The Roebling Inn: Great Boerum Hill spot, drinks, trivia—who could ask for anything more? Get ready to drop some knowledge and tie one on. FREE, 8pm-10pm

Tuesday, 6/10, Jessica Fichot, Barbés: Described as a chantuese, which is just fucking French for lady singer, Fichot offers up a smattering of styles, mixed in a literal melting pot. She's known for children's songs, so bring the brats! $10, 7pm

Wednesday, 6/11, Crif Dog at Royal Palms: This weekly offering at the shuffle board mecca is fully worth the subsequent indigestion and self-loathing. Nothing like wrapping a weiner full of butts and nuts in a warm blanket of bacon. Ah-merica! 6pm