Park Slope Craigslist Blotter: Summer Edition

It's getting hot in here! So read all the posts! I am…getting so hot, I want to write a Blotterrrrrr. Special Summer Edition of the Blotter ya'll. We've got just the stuff to keep you cool.

FOR SALE: Ice Cream Maker

 You can make ice cream at home. I've heard that's difficult though.  You can buy it. That's cheap. And easy. Really if you want it you should just buy it, okay? But if you need a third choice…I've got just the thing. This is a big ass soft serve ice cream maker. Like the kind you see in a Chinese Buffet. This model is the hottest one right now, a Taylor. It costs $1000. For that much we're not just talking about ice cream for dinner. We're talking ice cream for every meal. In the morning you can put it on waffles, ice cream sandwiches for lunch and then dinner. I guess a sundae? I don't know what kind of ice cream people eat for dinner.  

FOR SALE: Portable Air Conditioner

This isn't a very good deal at $300 but I never see these available for a big discount. People buy these things and hang on to them. They have wheels and beep and stuff. It's like a real life R2D2. Maybe that's why.

FOR SALE: House Boat

Overused movie trope; down on his luck character has to move into the houseboat.  It's a personal dream of mine. Sleeping up top on deck under a summer moon while the water air cools you off, that's summer. Like Captain Ron or some shit. If you have the money, BUY THIS BOAT.

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Principles vs. Nostalgia? Nostalgia FTW!

I had quite the moral dilemma at Old Navy yesterday. Nope, it wasn't about whether I should support the manufacturing of shitty disposable clothing that was stitched together by a slave-wage earning Bangladeshi six year old. THAT would actually be a legitimate debate to have with myself... but hey, labels go on the inside for a reason! Amirite?

My first thought when I saw this toddler sized G.I. Joe t-shirt was that my husband would LOOOOVE it. The irony is that we are Liberal, gun-hating, Kale-eating, pacifist, Brooklyn would-be hipsters (if we had a little more disposable income, a lot more style and no self-respect).

Should I buy what is arguably a bizarre, pro gun-culture message for our precious spawn? Could I convince myself that I was purchasing a shirt (for a child who cannot yet read) that primarily serves as a Bat-signal to other Park Slope parents who also know that Saturday mornings in the 1980s were the shit?

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WHASSUP: Something Other Than World Cup Edition

Spoiler Alert: the World Cup is going on. Did you know? Sure, soccer — ahem, football — is loved by the entire planet, but I have to laugh when I see New Yorkers, who couldn't care less, piling into bars to root on third world nations they've likely never heard of. Frankly, it's an excuse to get hammered and pretend to be excited over a sport you normally couldn't care less about. I've been watching nonstop. It's fucking great.

But I digress. Not one single suspect in my lineup this week has the foggiest thing to do with the Copa Mondial and I'm proud of it. Take a quick time out from your newly found Cameroon fandom and check out the ridiculous shit that your neighborhood is offering this week. Much of it's a doozy.

WHASSUP, you ask week in and week out? Here's WHASSUP! 

Thursday, 6/19, The Filmshop Presents All You Can Eat: A Night of Short Films and Live Music, The Bell House: The Bell House is notorious for serving up a great variety of cool shit and this evening of 3-minute films, live music and drinks is no exception. You'll want to thank me, but all the fan mail goes straight to my head. $12, 7pm doors, 8pm Show

Friday, 6/20, Giuseppe Makes a Movie, The Old Can Factory (Gowanus): Homeless dudes, handy cams, trailer parks—a perfect mélange of the avant garde. Climb up to the roof of an historic factory and take in cinema under the stars. $13, 8pm doors, 9pm movie

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Caption This Park Slope Photo!

An eagle-eyed FIPSter spotted Park Slope's own Senator Chuck Schumer buying some roasted corn on a stick at the 7th Avenue street fair this past weekend. What do you guys think he's saying to the guy in the striped shirt? 

Got a photo you want to submit for this column? Send it to effedinparkslope at gmail dot com! 

[SPONSORED] CKO Kickboxing is kicking off in Park Slope with cheap memberships