Who Gives A Shit?: Do You Get High With Your Baber Around?

Sometimes you have to smoke a crap load of weed just to have an intelligent conversation with your one year old, right guys? Brooklyn moms are so stressed out from hand-blending their baby’s kale puree and sourcing tomatoes n’ junk that we just need to kick back and get blazed once and a while!

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[Who Gives A Shit?] Have You Noticed People Getting Divorced Less In Park Slope?

Penguins mate for life, y'all.Apparently it’s totally uncool to get divorced, so don’t even think about it. You will be shunned by all your friends, and you might even end up in –– GOD FORBID –– Red Hook. Gasp!

It’s true! Just check out this sob story about Park Slope mommy Susan Gregory Thomas, a writer who went from a high ranking member of the stroller mob to “a Red Hook divorcee.” Susan told the New York Times, “All of a sudden this community I’d lived in for 13 years became this spare and mean savanna.”  You strayed from the pack, thereby breaking some sort of unspoken code and were shunned? I've never heard of that happening before. Ever. 

 

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[WHO GIVES A SHIT] Take-Out Delivery Tipping?

Ok, so this tipping debate ain't new. We've covered it here before and it's been discussed on pretty much every NY blog known to Allah. And yet still, there remains confusion about what the fuck you should be giving the Hunan Delight delivery dude when he drops off your General Tso's.

We just received this plea in our good ole FIPS email inbox: 

"I'm just curious if you could post something about how much people tip on delivery, cause my husband and I have been debating. He always wants to tip 20% which seems like a lot of money when you order $60 of sushi, does the guy really deserve a $12 tip? I always just want to give a standard $3-4. What is right and what is wrong?"

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Who Gives A Shit: Are You Still Excited For Gowanus Whole Foods?

Photo Via www.crainsnewyork.com

After years of Will-They-Won't-They, Ross and Rachel Whole Foods finally got its shit together and was full steam ahead on making the anticipated Gowanus location a reality. However, in the same amount of time that the natural food market has been dilly dallying about whether or not to set up shop in Gowanus, Cobble Hill got a Trader Joe's and Red Hook got a Fairway. My theory is that the folk over at WF just needed proof that Brooklynites actually buy fancy ass groceries, but according to the company it was the sheer cost of the project that delayed it for so long. At a Community Board meeting last Thursday, Whole Foods execs cited the need for massive environmental cleanup near the canal and said that unless the property was rezoned to accommodate a 56,000 sq foot retail space - instead of the 10,000 sq feet that had been approved initially - they would face "financial hardship."

UM, maybe don't buy land adjacent to A GIANT CESSPOOL?! 

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Who Gives A Shit: Do You Eavesdrop On Your Annoying Neighbors?

Last week, I spent a good 45 minutes listening to my neighbor's phone conversation. No, I wasn't tapping into her phone line or placing my ear up to her door. I was sitting on my couch reading a book, minding my own business. I had the window open to air out the place when Chatty Cathy decided to pace outside our buildings while catching up with her friend. She was talking as if she were in a wind tunnel: "So I  said, no, we're not going to your mother's house next weekend. It's Memorial Day and we're not sitting in all that traffic to go to New Jersey. Do you believe him?" And next thing I knew, I had placed my book down and listened to her entire conversation, as if I was tuned into some 1920s radio program.

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