Posted by: Erica | Friday, May 29, 2009 at 12:53AM

Reason #4,236 That We Don't Have A Baby

They just end up biting your fucking face off.

[BALLERS 4 LIFE]

FIPS UNDERCOVER IV: Target, Atlantic Center Mall [A Final Plea]

This is part four of our four part series in which we attempt to uncover, once and for all, why the hell Target at the Atlantic Center Mall sucks a big dick.

ICYMI, Here's part one, part two and part three.

Dear Target Corporation,

Over six months ago, we embarked on a journey.  There was danger all around us, and uncertainty around every corner, but the people had spoken and our mission was clear: figure out WTF is going on at the worst, most horrendous joke of a retail establishment in (we're guessing) the entire U.S of A: Target at the Atlantic Center Mall.

The conditions at this store are so hard to believe for the average Target-goer, at times the people turned on us. We were accussed of being racist....manipulating the situation....planting Starbucks coffee cups.  Alas, we can confirm, without reservation, that we are responsible for none of those things.

Here's the thing, Target: I LOVE your asses.  I have been to Target stores in California, New Jersey, Florida, Connecticut and other parts of New York.  On every single one of these occassions I have encountered friendly staff members, shelves busting with stock, reasonable check-out lines and clean aisles.  I LOVE that you guys are forward thinking and work with all sorts of cool up-and-coming designers.  I LOVE that you used a Sam Prekop song in one of your commercials.  And I LOVE that you guys give a ton of money to great charities and support awesome community and cultural organizations (like the First Saturday series at the Brooklyn Museum of Art).  Mostly, you guys fucking RULE.  Target is seriously one of my fav-OH-rite stores....for realz.  HOWEVER, the Target at Atlantic Center Mall is truly an abomination...and you guys really need to do something about it.

True, I am a bitchy, smart-ass, know-it-all blogger--and it might seem like the easy thing to do to just dismiss my ranting. But I'm honestly sharing these videos with you for your own good.  Actually, no...WE are sharing these videos with you for your own good. Because I'm quite sure that I speak for a majority of my Brooklyn and NYC homies when I say: this is the worst Target I've ever seen.

So, please get your act together.  Pretty please, with sugar on top?

In lieu of an actual letter, we are asking that everyone who has ever had a bad experience at this Target to leave a comment below and "sign" this missive along with us.

Together we stand, united we fall.

Sincerely,

FIPS (& the frustrated citizens of the BK)

[A special, gigantic, Brooklyn We Go Hard thanks to :30 Second Life, who busted his ass (and almost got arrested) to bring you all of these kick ass vids.  Go to his site a lot AND follow him on Twitter]

BREEDER, IS THAT YOU? [Talking To Your Kids About Sex]

I think we can all learn a few lessons from the honest and forthright discussion this caring mother has with her daughter about sex.

(via Buzzfeed)

The Lost Tribes Of NYC

Adorable-licious

(via Cityrag)

"Did Somebody say 'Bebe?'"

"My Russian baby is a baby inside a baby inside a baby."

These bitches would fit in SO well in Park Slope (and also the new PSP $25 yearly fee would be NO problemo for them eeths).

(via SNL via Hulu)