Marty Markowitz Is Not A Member of the Twitterverse

In case you missed the controversh last week, the Twittersphere was all abuzz because quirky borough prez Marty Markowitz *seemed* to be on the scene with his very own brand spankin new Twitter account.

Fake Twitter Marty even put out a call for new slogans for Brooklyn (and SHIT, were we gonna have fun with that one).

Of course, the whole damn thing turned out to be a sham, and though Marty thinks Twitter is a fab way to communicate, he's never Tweeted in his life.  So, Twitter pulled his account down, and now we're all left standing around like twidiots.

So for those who were already hard at work on their new fangled Brooklyn slogans, please feel free to leave em in the comments below. 

[Personally, we liked @BrooklynBased's suggestion best: FUCK MANHATTAN].

BREAKING: FIPS HOTTIE 'LEAH' HAS A SWEET LITTLE ASS

Well, the internet sure has arrived. When I was a lad, the only people who used computers were big disgusting unshowered men who stank so bad they tended to commit suicide. Not anymore - you should have seen the turnout for last night's FIPS Booze Cuise - a whole slew of great looking young people! And they use fucking computers! Well slap my ass and call me Erica.

The party even had its requisite hottie, LEAH, who all the guys kept pretending not to look at over their pints of park slope pilsner.  Boy was she hot.

Now listen, here's why I'm posting:

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Booze Cruise 2Night With FIPS! [+ Free Tix To The Whitest Kids U Know]

Only there's no cruise....and we're only giving away 2 pairs of tix.  But still!

Come join us tonight for a FIPS/@allgrownsup sponsered drink-a-thon.

We're setting up shop at the Bell House from 7-9pm, and 4 of you lucky drunks are gettin in to  see the hilarious stylings of The Whitest Kids U'Know for FREE after the part-ay.

It's gonna be pretty darn Badass.

You comin?

Park Slope On Twitter [And Also Why I Love The Shit Out Of The Twitterverse]

You know how before you ever *actually* had sex for the first time, you had this weird/crazy/totally inaccurate idea in your mind of what it would be like? And you watched movies about it, and talked about it, and imagined it, but you were incapable of really/truly/madly/deeply understanding it b/c your v-card still hadn't been swiped? And then you waited...and waited. And then one day, you (FINALLY) had sex and you were all "hunh...ok." But then you had it some more...and some more...and you got better at it...and then all of the sudden, with total and complete clarity, you woke up one day and you just got it. And when I say "got it" I mean like "got it"/understood it...deeply.

Get it?

Ok, well you're going to laugh your asses off at me, but that's kinda what Twitter is like.

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Guess Who's NOT On The Brooklyn 'Twitter Elite' List?

Our bloggin' buds at Eat Me Daily were kind enough to alert us that FIPS is NOT, in fact, included on the Brooklyn Twitter Elite list.

1. WTF?!
2. SON. OF. A. BITCH.

Props go out to all our BK homies who ARE on the list (as we do follow most of your asses already) it's just that we *should* be there and we're not. And this is a travesty of justice for which we can not sit idly by.

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