BREAKING: FIPS HOTTIE 'LEAH' HAS A SWEET LITTLE ASS
Benjamin | Friday, February 27, 2009 at 6:20AM 
Well, the internet sure has arrived. When I was a lad, the only people who used computers were big disgusting unshowered men who stank so bad they tended to commit suicide. Not anymore - you should have seen the turnout for last night's FIPS Booze Cruise - a whole slew of great looking young people! And they use fucking computers! Well slap my ass and call me Erica.
The party even had its requisite hottie, LEAH, who all the guys kept pretending not to look at over their pints of park slope pilsner. Boy was she hot.
Now listen, here's why I'm posting:
I was stunned to find out that Leah is actually the girl who used FIPS CARES to try and find a date. Fucking stunned:
a) What is the world coming to when a HOT, smart, funny, sweet chick like this isn't bombarded by guys at every street corner. (Not counting puerto ricans)
b) This is why online-dating generally uses IMAGES and not just text, doye. There was no goddamn picture of her on the FIPS CARES post! No wonder only like 1 guy responded. If there had been a picture of her, she'd have been fending off more email than a cancer-ridden Jonas Brother.
I'm here to tell you, and I'm a fuckin Verasign authenticated trusted third party, that this girl is DOPE, and a catch at that.
I'll tell ya, you oughta send her an email if you're a normal cute young guy. (Note to old people like me (over 35) - you're TOO OLD. Don't email. This is a kid. Stop being a letch and go jerk it to porn like the rest of us.)
p.s. Thanks so much to Arock and his awesome boyfriend for letting me in on the gay fun - ya see, he's allowed to grab Leah's ass from behind, because he's gay, and presumably doesn't wish he could tear down her jeans and ingest her entire body. He kept grabbing her ass while she was standing there talking to someone with her back to him. She kept not turning around to bust him, so finally I said
"What's the difference – can I try?"
"Sure," he said.
Wow – awesome! Thanks guys.
FIPS Cares, sex in the slope, twitter 
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Reader Comments (6)
raise your hand if you think Benjamin was the fips hotty
raise your hand if you thought Arock's bf was a fips hottie and a half. can we clone that guy and make one of him for everybody? maybe the no-offense ass grabbing works with him too.... Arocks a cutie too. i'd say "stupid happy cute couple!" if i was bitter. thankfully i'm not.
I would definitely suck Benny's cock. But I'd like to ask that Leah join us in a three-way. Alas, being part of the "over 35" gang means my vast sexual wisdom and breadth of experience during the Pre-AIDS sex craze would be disallowed. You'll have to wait until I write a book Leah...
tisk, tisk, tisk: Even gay guys know that you don't touch a girls ass and talk about it, let alone blog about it.
If my gay membership is revoked because your blog lets out that gay guys can gay touch straight girl, where only straight guys can after they've been given the GP Power to do so, I am going to have a Gay Fit on this blog. (Gay Fit: Kind of like a girls fit combined with a kids fit in the parking lot of Toys-R-Us with some added Cuban testosterone)
Stick with my there's more ass where that came from... <-- that's the straight in me talking.
I agree Arock's Boyfriend is a Total Hottie and then some... Did I mention he plays hockey too... a hot dirty white boy hockey player.
Yes. i was just alerted by our velvet fax machine that some vital gay intelligence was leaked to the outside world.
You've been on our watch list for some time Arock. do not think that these infractions go unnoticed. they do not, I can assure you. you and your membership are on thin ice. any more worrisome behavior and we'll force you to wear brown shoes with a black belt and disallow you from enjoying sandra bullock movies. and nobody wants that. and we'll know. we ALWAYS know. we have moles everywhere. not skins moles though. gross.
We also agree with this community's consensus on your bf. the possibility of him leaving with you if you were to be excommunicated is mostly what's kept you in the club for so long. we can only stand so much though. and dirty indeed.
is she white?