Provini Hates Kids? I Love Provini

So remember when Provini drew the ire of an angry Park Slope Parent on Yelp? And then it exploded into an angry debate between BALLERS, BREEDERS, and people who just love a good online fight (wanna read a good, albeit out-of-date one? Check this out ). 

If you're not already up to speed, the dramarama was based around the fact that some woman wanted to bring her nine-month-old daughter to the restaurant, and called ahead to see if they provided high chairs.  Provini said they didn't, but to come anyway.  Lady shows up and then gets pissed that there's no room to park her stroller.  When she complains, she is told that "Provini is not a child-friendly restaurant."

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Bagel Hole Bagels Are #1 [Duh]

So, Serious Eats posted this lovely little tri-borough bagel extravaganza post today, in which they attempted to find NYC's best bayg.  And Brokelyn thought their review was perfectly adorable, but wanted some cred for coming to the same conclusion the week before on their search for the best bagel.

Uhm, so we hate to be the bearers of bad news, bitches, but HELLO: FIPS annointed Bagel Hole as the best effing bagel LAST FUCKING YEAR during our Bagel Off! We'd been there and done that in the oh-eight, motherfuckers!

Anyway.

I'm glad we can all agree on this, b/c Bagel Hole *does* rule my face.

But I'm gonna give you a lil extra piece of advice that everyone else failed to mention, just because that's the kind of generous bitch I am: for the ultimate bagelgasm, buy your bayg at Bagel Hole an buy your scallion cream cheese up the street at La Bagel Delight. Yes its an extra stop, but I'm telling you: it's worth it. Bagel Hole has the market TOTALLY FUCKING CORNERED on bagels, but on cream cheese...not so much.

You're welcome.

REVIEW: BARK Hot Dogs

pic via my shitty ass iPhone--sorry

Ok, so FINALLY I hauled my lazy ass over to Bark and indulged in some hott diggity dawgs.

And, basically, they rocked my fucking face off.

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Count Metromix's Hot Plates Live as another successful tasting event at the Bell House

Featuring small bites (or, if we were in an episode of Top Chef, "amuse bouches") from 11 local restaurants, and four beers (Can I have four beers?) served in dixie cups (though, let's face it: I probably wouldn't be happy unless I was served beer in gallon jugs), alongside a cheese plate, the event space at the Bell House was crowded but not obnoxious at the Metromix Hot Plates Live shindig.

HOW'S THAT FOR A RUN-ON SENTENCE? Suck it, bitchez, I've got some food to write about.

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MINI BLOCK OFF: BURGER SHOWDOWN

Wow, per chance A Hamburger Today was inspired by the weekly genius displayed in Parowpyro's Park Slope Block Offs?? Cause they did their own darn burger corner block off between Johnny Mack's and 12th Street Bar and Grill.

Not to ruin the ending or anything, but 12th Street wins--mostly, it seems, because of their fondness for fried onions.

(via A Hamburger Today)