FREE ADVICE FOR PARK SLOPE BUSINESSES: Are You Fucking Kidding Me With Your Hours?

Free Advice for Park Slope businesses is our recurring column in which we attempt to impart some useful advice to our local lovable biz owners. LISTEN THE HELL UP.

The other day I was working from home and realized we were out of Oliver's dog treats. I thought: "hey, why don't I walk over to that stupid pet store that I totally fucking hate (what can I say: I'm lazy), and get some more!" So at 10:15, I throw on Oliver's leash and we head on over.

Lo and behold, Beastly Bites is closed. at 10:15 in the morn on a weekday.

AYFKMWTS???

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FIRST GAY PARK SLOPE WEDDING WINDOW?

Now that this whole gay marriage thing is legal here in NY, we knew it would just be a matter of time before local businesses started jumping on the gay wedding bandwagon. For the new bridal shop on 7th Ave between Berkeley & Lincoln, Sposabella Couture Bridal, that time is NOW.

Thanks to FIPS reader Elyse, behold the first (that we've seen anyway) gay Park Slope wedding window! As you can see, two lovely lesbian mannequins (one femme one in a lovely strapless gown, and one lookin a bit more butchy in a tux) are tying the knot. Mazel Tov!

I sincerely hope that the current physical distance between them is not an indicator of what's to come in their relationship, but whatevs. I'm sure we have some friendly Park Slope lawyer who would be more than happy to handle their lesbian divorce in five years.

Any of you FIPSters see any other examples of Park Slope marriage equality windows yet?

Hallelujah, Mazeltov and Gesundheit: Park Slope is Getting A Butcher Named Fleisher!

Maybe there is a God! Now please, please, please add in a little bitty deli section with, say, brisket, pastrami and matzoh ball soup and we will be yours forever more.

Per the Village Voice's Fork In the Road blog, 

"Conscientious carnivores, rejoice! Fleisher's Meats, the Kingston, N.Y., butcher shop synonymous with high-quality grass-fed/local/organic meats, will open a shop in Park Slope, likely on Sept. 1.

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Boing Boing Loves the Lesbos

Apparently that boob shop Boing Boing (on Union and 6th ave) is offering a special 10% discount to all Park Slope lesbian ladies. They offer no special discount for gay dudes, but that's because "men just make more than women” according to shop owner Karen Paperno.

Ohhhhkaaaaay.

Honestly, the thing that bugs me about this story is this photo (which I swiped from Brokleyn). It's clearly been very bizarrely photoshopped, with this chick's head plopped down on someone else's body.

I'm not sure if Boing Boing did this or if Brokelyn did this, but in either case, I can't look away.

Anywayz, if you're a lez who needs a nursing bra, swing on by.

(via Brokelyn)

Get Your Park Slope Swag At Enamoo

Was strolling along Smith Street the other day and stumbled into Enamoo, a pretty sweet & over priced antique/clothing/weird naked barbie doll art boutique. They even offer some nice Park Slope swag, complete with creepy babies! Despite the cost, I still bought a hoodie because it had a dog on it, and dogs are awesome.

Oh and if you want to appear more attractive/artsy in photos but aren't cool enough to have an iphone or Instagram like Erica, you should download Vignette on your droid so you can be a poser like me.