FREE ADVICE FOR PARK SLOPE BUSINESSES: Empty Storefronts

Free Advice for Park Slope businesses is our recurring column in which we attempt to impart some useful advice to our local lovable biz owners. i.e. LISTEN THE HELL UP.

As we all know, 2011 will forever be known as they year of the Park Slope restaurant apocalypse. For a variety of reasons (poor economy, rising rents, dumb business ideas, etc) joints seemed to be closing faster than a fat person running for an open seat on the subway. Unfortunately, some other local businesses have not been faring much better, with the recent abrupt closing of S Clubs as a prime example. 

HOWEVER, I think we should all be looking at the silver lining here, folks. 

Because, off the top of my head, there are at least two currently empty spots resulting from these aforementioned business closings that are literally CRYING out to be turned into booming, successful, much needed Park Slope businesses. All we need now are a couple of ambitious, non-retarded entrepreneurs to step up to the plate and make the magic happen!

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OUR TOP 5 SUGGESTIONS FOR WHAT SHOULD GO INTO THE PS BKLYN SPACE

original image via Brownstoner

Have you heard the news? PS Bklyn is closed. 

If anyone out there in Park Slope is surprised by this development, then holy shit your head has been up your ass. The food sucked, the ambience was even worse, and despite the fact that this joint was located 1 measly block from my apartment, I've been there like twice in eleven months. Y'all know how lazy I am, so this fact is pretty telling.

As one of the largest, most centrally located spots in Park Slope I'm sort of fascinated by the fact that NO ONE seems to be able to get their shit to work over there. I mean, there is a crap ton of foot traffic, the space is beautiful, and there's a community of hungry, rich, lazy Park Slopers ready to brunch their faces off from the word "go." 

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FREE ADVICE FOR PARK SLOPE BUSINESSES: Are You Fucking Kidding Me With Your Hours?

Free Advice for Park Slope businesses is our recurring column in which we attempt to impart some useful advice to our local lovable biz owners. LISTEN THE HELL UP.

The other day I was working from home and realized we were out of Oliver's dog treats. I thought: "hey, why don't I walk over to that stupid pet store that I totally fucking hate (what can I say: I'm lazy), and get some more!" So at 10:15, I throw on Oliver's leash and we head on over.

Lo and behold, Beastly Bites is closed. at 10:15 in the morn on a weekday.

AYFKMWTS???

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