Norah Jones May Or May Not Have Bedbugs

image via Curbed NYOk fine: it was getting a little "all bedbugs all the time" up in here for awhile, but this one was just doo damn juicy to ignore.

Apparently there is lil ole bedbug problem on the street in Cobble Hill where Norah Jones lives, and her friendly neighbors are more than happy to just place blame for the whole friggin thing on her. Oh, also, apparently there IS an upside to getting your place infested and bedbuggy after all!

"Danielle Gelfand takes the contrarian view in New York Press, arguing that bed bugs actually did good things for her building because they allowed her to finally bond with the neighbors she hadn't spoken to in 10 years. One way they bonded: by blaming someone else for the bug problem. Namely, Norah Jones: 'As the meeting started, a huge truck pulled up outside. For a moment, I got excited, thinking, Maybe it’s some sort of hazmat-style bug elimination team! But then I realized it was ABC Carpet and Home, delivering Norah Jones’ (who lives nearby) new furniture.'"

I have no clue if any of this shit is true, but I bet if Norah let the neighbors swim in her inground pool, they'd be willing to let this WHOLE thing go.

(via Curbed NY)

Why, Landmarks, Why?

Curbed is covering the re-listing of another nose-bleed inspiring Park Slope manse, this one on Garfield. I do love the broker's description...

Where are extraordinary townhouses designed by the finest architects of their day in all styles built in the 1880s only four miles from Manhattan? A Historic District for over half a century with five-story mansion height restrictions thereby limiting population density and providing views of the clouds and sky? Where the scent of wood-burning fireplaces in the fall and winter months feel like a town in Vermont? Where the air feels cleaner and fresher because of a 585-acre park by Olmsted & Vaux with a 60-acre lake and a 90-acre Long Meadow where sheep grazed after the Civil War, and stunning Botanic Gardens? Without the roar of trucks and buses it feels like going back in time, an oasis chosen by notable figures who could choose to live anywhere.

Pure poetry. 

Now, as it happens, I walk by this very house several times a day and have long wondered how it is that such a butt-ugly front door has gotten by Landmarks. This regency classic also has a monstrous crystal chandelier but that, I can't blame on Landmarks. Fine, maybe it's the house next door but I don't think so. Anyway, the door!!

Click to read more ...

Anyone Looking For A New Apt?

Cause I know a totally great place right in the heart of Park Slope!

And it's only $18,000 FUCKING DOLLARS A MONTH!

I just checked the Corcoran listing and apparently this $18k does not include a full-time prostitute and/or bags of cocaine. It's JUST for the apt.

So yeah, I have an appt tomorrow to see it. Obvies I've got money to burn what with all the benji's I make from bloggin...

(via Curbed)

THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH

There are a million things I could say, but lordy lordy, I think an "AMEN" is just sufficient enough.

Via Gawker TV

More on Urlesque

CRAIGSLIST: I've Got a Roommate for You!

Anyone looking for a change of location?  A reduction in rent?  A naked roommate in a Duane Reade inflatable pool? Well golly gee wilikers, do I have the solution for you!  And what would such an opportunity be without the allure of Brooklyn Craigslist casting its beautiful shadow over this offer?

Although you should visit the original ad and click the photo above for a full look at your potential new bestie, I'm a nice lady, so I'mma break it down for you.  Just the facts:

• A self-described "large person" who "likes to drink and smoke weed (nearly every day)"
• Dude's "seeing someone who is waaayyy out of his league," so get ready for some hot hot hot slumber parties!
• Your new roommate's got his self-image issues under control: "Comfortable with my body and am naked frequently generally when it is hot." And you know he's got manners: He gives you the heads up!
• Your new digs even come with a pool!  He "bought one of inflatable pools for the back yard and hangs out in it a lot to cool off."  Ultimate refreshment.  
• A bonus: "The neighbors are friendly and from your room/the back yard you can hear the young couple next door having sex."  Plus, he "enjoys it!"  Well, phewf, that takes care of the awkward stage of finding roommate bonding activities to share!

To top it right off, this guy adores animals and already has some fish.  Hours of fun ahead.  For only $360, this could be yours right this very second!  I just wish I hadn't signed on for my studio apartment back in June!

So, since I'm out of the running, who's ready to do it up at 126 Berkeley Place?!  If only I could quit with these exclamation points, but periods just won't do!