Vote For Me! No Me! No Me!

I guess the politicking could be worse. But, judging from the glut of local candidates hanging in front of PS 321 at pickup yesterday afternoon, not by much!

While running the gauntlet, a friend greeted me with the question of the day, "They DO have school tomorrow, right? Please, please, tell me school isn't closed."

Because we breeding classes can't take it anymore. We need to cut bait and get this school year going. No more one day of school a week shit. No more days off for at least a month! So don't you even think about shutting down for an election!

Thank GOD! I have checked the calendar and settled my mind. The civic-minded will get a chance to vote for your favorite his and hers district leaders, judges, and assemblers without messing up my plans to GET A JOB today.

Right after I vote. For whom or what, I'm not entirely sure just yet. But near as I can tell, there's a major, earth-shaking election going on today. 

Click to read more ...

A NEW Hope for Brooklyn

What a difference a day makes. My little ray of Hope got a makeover!

Just a short two months ago, she was still looking like Tracy Flick in Election (which had its own charms for a number of us). But when she ran me aground (not really) at Grand Army Plaza on Wednesday morning, she was a new Hope.

If you'll recall, the barely-legal Hope is mounting a challenge against somebody-old-and-influential-or-other in the old-school world of Brooklyn politics for the curious position of "female district leader." As for what a female district leader does, I still have no idea.

But back to the real heart of the issue: Get a load of Hope's new look! And she told me herself that she owes it all to us.

Some of our "constructive criticism" for the old Hope:

Ageist: She looks about 12 years old! 

Me: God, I want her to unbutton a few buttons on that blue oxford. 

Amber: I want to put lipstick and a little blush on her so badly. Hope, girl, call me.

Jess: She looks like a pedophile's wet dream.

Dave: I'd fuck her.

mpd6: I am a married, straight (usually) "breeder" and I'd fuck her. 

So, what say you 'bout this makeover?

Who Gives A Shit? Naked Pool Party with Marty Markowitz

The gloves (and suits, ties, and pants) are coming off to make sure we all get a chance to take a whizz in the Double-D Pool this summer.

Fact: only 17% admit to peeing in public pools but 80% suspect their fellow swimmers

Yes, Marty Markowitz is threatening to strip down to a bathing suit to protest the proposed shut-down of the Double-D pool. Come on, Marty, make it a speedo! Better yet, this patriotic man thong. 

You think Yvette Clark and our new political hottie Hope will wear bikinis?

Per Gothamist: "If the city doesn't agree to spend the $200,000 to open the pool—which is in walking distance to the Gowanus and Wyckoff Gardens public housing projects—we suspect Markowitz will surely take this thing to the next level. Please, Bloomberg, give the man whatever he wants."

This may be as close to a Norah Jones pool party as we're gonna get.

WHEN: Sunday, June 20, 2010 at 10:00 AM

WHERE: Thomas Greene Park in front of the Pool (Douglass Street between Nevins Street and 3rd Avenue)

(via Gothamist and Brooklyn Paper)

FIPS Cares: Hope For Brooklyn

Holy Shit, I was just chased down Garfield by Tracy Flick. I signed her petition to get her on the ballot for "female district leader."

I will def be voting for her come November, if only because her bio says "when she was a senior at Hunter College High School, she brought a suit against then Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld for illegal military recruitment tactics."

And there is that awesome photo above. God, I want her to unbutton a few buttons on that blue oxford. 

Click to read more ...

FIPS CARES: Don't Ask, Don't Tell Can Go Suck It

Look: I don't want to get into a whole convo on this issue cause if you think "don't ask, don't tell" is a good rule for our country to have, then I think you're an asshole. Bottom line is: Now that the house voted to repeal, we're close to coming correct on this ish and we all need to pitch in.

So if you're NOT an asshole, you should totally sign Prez O's petition, and get other non-asshole peeps you know to sign it too so that we can officially repeal this bullshit once and for all.

Let's make it happen bleeding heart liberal hippie haven Park Slope!