What You Should Do if the Power Goes Out: Brought to You by ConEd

Because of the hurricane, all of the gas and power companies are sending out emails telling everyone really valuable information like "Stay clear of downed power lines."  Thanks for letting me know, I thought downed power lines were the safest places to be in times of trouble. 

The above graphic is an actual email that ConEd sent out, but forget about the ridiculous tips.  My main issue is the photo of the woman telling us to stay safe.  Look at this bitch's face.  She could CARE LESS.  If you looked up "apathetic" in the dictionary, you'd find this lady, her hands thrown up in the air, being like "If y'all die, I don't really give a fuck."  Get a picture of an uptight white woman pulling out her hair and yelling at her children to BE QUIET so she can watch the news, or an Asian dude staring out intently from his nerd glasses trying to convey the gravity of the situation.

Whatever, everyone.  Here's what ConEd should have sent out, because honestly, if we lose power today, this is the shit that's really gonna go down, and it has nothing to do with downed power lines and battery-operated radios.

For more updates from her own personal Hurrication, follow Amanda on Twitter @AmandaWaas.