Effed in Park Slope | Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 12:04AM PSlope WTF, guest post Effed in Park Slope | Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at 1:09AM 
Hey FIPS,
Like most New Yorkers, I'm generally pissed off during my morning subway commute. I'm not really sure if it's because I'm not much of a morning person (who is, really?), or if it's because 90% of other
people irritate the fuck out of me, but either way, I'm pretty pissy during the 30 minute daily R/N am transfer trip. And lately, it's gotten to the point where I'm worried I'm going to lose it on a complete stranger.
It's not the usual subway crazies that I can't handle: Homeless guy defecating in the corner? Sure. Masturbating perv? Put it away, but feel free to stay. Fat people taking up two seats? Breeders taking up
the whole aisle with their strollers? Running kids with seemingly no adult supervision? Young people who don't get up for pregnant women or old people? Rude morons who don't move in from the doors and then yell at you for asking them to? People who smell? People who blast their iPods too loud? Hip-hop dance crews? That one asshole who needs to push his/her way to the door 5 minutes before you're even at the
station? Thank you all for being here. You keep things interesting. Heck, I'll even take the fingernail clipper! It's disgusting, but at least it's something to see when I'm not busy eavesdropping on the conversation next to me of the angry couple fighting, or reading your Star magazine over your shoulder.
No, the subway ride itself isn't riling me up. It's walking into the subway. Going down those stairs and pushing past the lazy people who don't seem to understand the urgency of having to catch that train
that's pulling in the station is one thing. But at the Park Slope 4th/9th Street Station (and I'm sure a ton of other neighborhood stations), there's a whole new obstacle: The political candidate.
Around BK, guest post, ongoing beefs Benjamin | Monday, December 1, 2008 at 6:56AM 
We have a real special treat today - I'm honored to present you with a FIPS exclusive – a charitably donated blogwarming gift: the brand spanking new column by the greatest blogger in the world, Park Slope's own Blognigger!
Date: Wed, Jun 18, 2008 at 12:25 AM
Subject: Stay at home bitching
To: Blognigger
yo bn
wanted to get your take on this - I'm a restaurant manager who works nights and has to sleep during the day. For the most part my wife is really cool about it. She gets up with the baby and lets me sleep and so on. Our older kid is 6 and in school so he's not an issue during the day.
The main problem is though, she bitches non fuckin stop about how hard her life is, and that I don't understand how hard it is to be a stay at home mom. And the crazy thing is she starts the arguments!!! I work 65 hours a week and make 100% of our income and I never mention the fact that she's not making any money, instead I treat her like a queen, but instead, SHE bitches at ME. The woman can not shut up about how hard her life is.
The funny thing is, there are times during the day when she needs to go out and I watch our son for hours at a time. Every time I do it I think to myself.....It's just not that hard!! Sure there's the occasional diaper explosion or screaming tantrum, but I swear on my life I don't see what the big fucking deal is. When he sleeps I can fuckin SLEEP or scratch my nuts or watch the wire dvds --- try doing that at a real job!! I wish that she could try managing a staff of 15 mexicans and at the same time dealing with phone calls from the owner and 5 customers having a meltdown over there missing appetizers...... I think it would put into perspective exactly how tough her work situation is.
How do you deal with these issues from your woman - I know she's home with the kids too, right? Granted I know you've got two kids so it might be rougher on your bird, but what's your take- is it really that fucking hard to be a stay at home mom??
--snip--
Peace bn,
Carls Jr.
What up, Carls-
Fantastic question! Sorry I let it rot in my inbox for 5 months, but such is the prerogative of a mostly-black male living under the Obama Administration-Elect: I can do WHATEVER I WANT all the time with zero accountability. Hopefully you're not already divorced, and I've still got a shot at helping you out here.
The answer to your question is that it depends on a bunch of factors- For example, as far as net difficulty of daily tasks is concerned, there's a huge difference between:
In your case specifically though, it's easier to assess because your wife is a lazy whore.
Totally kidding! I hardly know anything about you guys! Therefore, let's assume the "stay-at-home mom" in question is a married woman with two kids, no nanny, and a housekeeper that comes once every two weeks.
Now right off the bat: while I too get pissed off at my wife's insistence that she performs brain surgery while my office colleagues and I masturbate to internet porn, I've got to say that I've spotted a crucial flaw in your logic:
> The funny thing is, there are times during the day when she needs to go out and I watch our son for hours at a time.
Stop right there - that's unscientific. You can't just take what they do 24/7, do it for a few hours, and then be like "yo that shit's easy." That's like saying you could handle Ramadan just cause it's almost 3pm and you haven't eaten since breakfast.
So, there's a clue for us: In isolation, the following tasks are NOT as hard as the stressful restaurant-management activities you've described:
It boggles my mind to think that anyone would willingly be a stay-at-home mother - the inherent deprivation of basic human rights is just too great. I could never do it in 10 billion years, even though I love my kids enough to throw myself in front of a train for them that's different though, because throwing yourself in front of a train is far less boring, is over quickly, and takes far less dedication to execute than committing yourself to the complete and total ego suicide that stay-at-home parenting entails.
However: because of her severe dedication to our kids and unwillingness to have them raised by Caribbeans, my wife has chosen to be a stay-at-home mom.
Keyword: CHOSEN.
This brings us to the real issue in our household:
If my wife has Chosen this role for herself, and can reverse that decision at any time, is she really allowed to bitch about it nonstop and make everyone else's life hell with her nonstop martyring and complaining and whining?
Get the fuck outta here Carls, that's the stupidest question i've ever heard in my life. Who cares if they're allowed - they're going to bitch anyway so deal with it. Want a divorce? Go try telling them they're not allowed to complain.
Don't worry - your kids will be at a state university soon, and your wife will slowly assimilate back into society, though her skills at typewriting and woodworking and all these other twentieth century tasks will be meaningless and outdated, and she'll still be a drain on your income and society.
Even then however, as she'll have taken the ultimate bullet for the team - you'll still be the asshole, and in debt to her forever.
Btw, if your answer in the first paragraph was "too late, we're already divorced," then please ignore all of the above. In fact, if you would forward me your ex-wife's contact information, that would be optimal - totally saves me a sketchy-ass trip to craigslist casual encounters.
Thanks and be well - hope this helps.
Blognigger.
Stay-At-Home Moms, guest post, kids, ongoing beefs 
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