YOUR VOTE COUNTS!

Hey FIPS,

Like most New Yorkers, I'm generally pissed off during my morning subway commute. I'm not really sure if it's because I'm not much of a morning person (who is, really?), or if it's because 90% of other
people irritate the fuck out of me, but either way, I'm pretty pissy during the 30 minute daily R/N am transfer trip. And lately, it's gotten to the point where I'm worried I'm going to lose it on a complete stranger.

It's not the usual subway crazies that I can't handle: Homeless guy defecating in the corner? Sure. Masturbating perv? Put it away, but feel free to stay. Fat people taking up two seats? Breeders taking up
the whole aisle with their strollers? Running kids with seemingly no adult supervision? Young people who don't get up for pregnant women or old people? Rude morons who don't move in from the doors and then yell at you for asking them to? People who smell? People who blast their iPods too loud? Hip-hop dance crews? That one asshole who needs to push his/her way to the door 5 minutes before you're even at the
station? Thank you all for being here. You keep things interesting. Heck, I'll even take the fingernail clipper! It's disgusting, but at least it's something to see when I'm not busy eavesdropping on the conversation next to me of the angry couple fighting, or reading your Star magazine over your shoulder.

No, the subway ride itself isn't riling me up. It's walking into the subway. Going down those stairs and pushing past the lazy people who don't seem to understand the urgency of having to catch that train
that's pulling in the station is one thing. But at the Park Slope 4th/9th Street Station (and I'm sure a ton of other neighborhood stations), there's a whole new obstacle: The political candidate.

Dude, I don't give a shit that you're running for office. As far as I'm concerned, you should all lose because you have no sense on how to run a campaign. Yes we can? No we can't. Walk the streets all you want. Show up at my door or the Antic, and shmooze til the cows come home. But leave me alone when I'm going to work.

I mean, how could you possibly think that's a good time to have a positive experience with another person? A lot of people may be taking your flyer.  But do you really think they're reading it? Nope! They're throwing it on the ground before they even go through the turnstile as they try and search for their metrocard (and I'm stuck behind them, missing yet another train). You'd have a better shot getting on the train with them and announcing your bullet points there. At least people would listen to you! Especially if you weren't asking for
money. And maybe if you were also part of a group of dudes singing doo-wop.

And also, if you tried to get me to pay attention to you on Wednesday, don't come back on Thursday and try again. It's embarrassing. And desperate. Even more desperate than trying to throw a brochure in someone's hand as they run for a train. Or trying to communicate with the Spanish-speaking folks waiting for the bus. (Psst - they can't understand you! And probably can't vote).

Let's also just state this for the record: when my head is down and my iPod headphones are in, and I'm CLEARLY walking as far away from you as possible, that's your cue that I don't want your fucking shit. I'm i-g-n-o-r-i-n-g you. Don't say "sir? Sir? SIR?" over and over again, hoping I hear you. I DO hear you...I just don't care. Stop trying to make it happen, cause its not! Learn from the AM NY guy, who avoids ME like the plague when he sees me coming, cause the dude knows how cranky I am and how much I don't want his crap newspaper.

So since today is primary day, let's just throw this out there one more time: if you want to run for office, I'd suggest you steer clear of trying to secure your candidacy at the subway entrance. Or one of these days, some bitchy faggy blogger with a bad attitude is going to push you down those stairs... And blame it on the BREEDER with the stroller next to him.

Sincerely,
NineDaves

PS: This message should also go out to the people at Atomic Wings, who feel the need to pass out menus there every day. STOP IT! I don't want your fucking menu. I'm a vegetarian for christ's sake!