Whassup: Anti-Barclays Edition

Chile Pepper Fiesta

Maybe you heard about this. Tomorrow, some basketball owner or something will do some rapping at a new venue in Prospect Heights. It's apparently named after the subway stop or something? Anyway, those tickets are totally sold out, so whatever. No Jay-Z for you! Still, you might be curious to see what happens up around there once this whole Moby Dick of an arena finally gets rolling. Will Prospect Heights/Northern Park Slope instantly douchify? (Like, in a different way than they already have, I mean.) Personally, though, I recommend staying far away from there and entertaining yourself with Whassup: Anti-Barclays Edition:

* Thursday, Sept. 27: NY Burlesque Fest Turns 10, Bell House: Part of the larger 10th Annual New York Burlesque Festival, this show is all packed full of the naked. Twenty-plus breast-havers from across our fair planet will be amazing on stage for you. 8pm, $10.

* Saturday, Sept. 29: Chile Pepper Fiesta, Botanic Garden: Hot-ha-ha-hooott! *fans mouth* Come experience one of the few societally accepted forms of masochism and put all the peppers on your tongue. You can sample salsas, hot sauces, and chile-chocolate concoctions. All with Latin American music, juggling, storytelling, dancing, and more. Imagine if the Red Hot Chili Peppers were having a concert in your mouth. It's totally not like that, but I just wanted everyone to picture that for a while. 11am-6pm, $15.

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Lady Gaga To Bring her Weirdness, Monsters, to the Barclays Center

Jay-Z, The Smashing Pumpkins, Rihanna, Greenday, Journey, Pat Benatar and now: Lady Gaga. All of these big shots will be bringing their A-game (and lots of foot and car traffic) to the Barclays Center in the upcoming year.

Gaga is the most recent addition to the growing list of performers, and will be performing on Wednesday, March 6, 2013. Tickets go on sale Friday, Sept. 28 at 10AM, and can be purchased HERE or HERE.

What might Gaga wear for her "venue entrance outfit?" My money's on a giant rusty dome filled with screaming lemurs that she'll don on her back as a tribue to the Barclays Center.

Whassup: Entitled to Fun Edition

via powerhousearena

Well, with Mitt Romney's campaign imploding deliciously over the last week or so, we liberal caricatures of Park Slope need to look elsewhere for entertainment: there're diminishing returns in a lopsided contest, after all. Luckily, there's plenty to occupy our time in this land of insufferable liberality. Welcome to Whassup: Entitled to Fun Edition:

* Through Sunday, Sept. 23: BK Book Fest: The pre-BK Book Fest happenings known as Bookend Events continue this week, culminating in the fest itself on Sunday. Oh, there're so many chances to participate in literary culture without actually having to read any books. It's amazing! There're readings galore, kitschy shit like the "Librarian Olympics" at Union Hall, and even kids' stuff, you Park Slope parents, such as a zoo party. Rumor is, they've taught a kangaroo to read. (Please note: I am starting this rumor myself.) Sunday, the whole shit goes down, with wordy presentations all the damn day long. 10am-6pm, FREE (Some Bookend events priced).

* Thursday, Sept. 20: Cringe, Freddy's: The Freddy's original series of teenage diaries and other mortifying texts welcomes the fall with a back-to-school special. Because nothing says school daze like stories of shame, galloping hormones, and blissfully un-self-aware melodrama. 7:30pm, FREE.

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What You Should Catch At: The Brooklyn Book Festival

How many times have you spent a Sunday night debating whether to catch reruns of Who’s the Boss, have a good cry while watching Precious, or listen to Dan Savage and the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth give advice to sexually-dysfunctional Midwestern lesbians?  I know, every Sunday, right?

Fear no more, freaks. On September 23^rd, your only dilemma will be whether to choose a mimosa or bloody mary for brunch -- the rest will be taken care of for you because the aforementioned authors will all be appearing in this weekend's Brooklyn Book Festival. Tony Danza, an author? Who knew?

The Brooklyn Book Festival is the largest free literary event in New York City, presenting an array of national and international literary stars and emerging authors.   With a line-up of 280+ authors and more than 104 panels, there is bound to be something for everyone – Judy Blume and Salman Rushdie readers alike. 

Best part? It’s free, ya’ll. For the first time this year, there will be “Clix not Tix,” meaning that all events will be sans any ticketing. Yay for no ticket lines! (and by "Clix," I'm assuming they either mean "fasten your seatbelt" or "we're going to use one of those handheld clicky things to make sure we don't let in so many people that the fire department shuts us all down for creating fire hazards.") 

Here are a few events that we recommend: 

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Whassup: Falling Down Edition

Oh shit, is it fall now? For some, this might be a time of mourning. Another summer of beaches and ice cream trucks past, and we never quite got that beach body we wanted because of all the ice cream trucks. And yet, here is fall, and the temperatures are decent and the city is no longer a sweat bog. Honestly, they should have more of the outdoor concerts in September. Prospect Park's downright awesome when Fall hits, after the grossness of August (and early September) subsides. So, buck up, beach bums, and welcome the change in seasons. Welcome to Whassup: Falling Down Edition:

* Saturday, Sept. 15: Garden Sandwich Off, The Amazing Garden (Carroll Gardens): To raise some green, this community garden is hosting a grilled sandwich competition. So, do good while stuffing your face. You were probably gonna stuff your face somehow anyway. 3pm, $20.

* Saturday, Sept. 15: Drink All Damn Day, Greenwood Park Beer Garden: Oh sweet Lord, have mercy on us: they want you to come and drink all the fucking damn day long for $60. This will turn out very well, I'm sure. It's called "Freaktoberfest" and it all goes down at Greenwood Park's spacious beer garden. There's also live music and a Coney Island freak show theme, with sideshow acts taking the stage for your amusement, you Caligula, you. 12pm, $60.

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